Last Quarter – Wolf Moon
Time to pause and take a look back at our progress this moonth.
Think on what we would like to wrap up before the dark moon.
Begin to turn our thoughts to possible intentions for the coming new moon cycle (Jan 30th).
Shake off the hard stuff and roll around a lil in the good.
Reviewing Intentions ~ WORK
At the full moon, I mentioned that I seemed to be ticking along pretty good on all fronts – except for work on Sanctuary.
It’s been a struggle… that’s sure. But I’m feeling really good about it today. Having ridden the roller coaster of …
- thinking it really is “all there”
- wanting to chuck in the bin and start something new
- deciding that it is mainly a “structural” problem
- feeling like I still don’t have the slightest CLUE of how to tell this story clean nor a solid grasp on the voices of some of the characters or even the freaking NARRATIVE voice of the whole hot mess
I woke this morning with a calm sure sense of where to lay my foot next – I immediately started doubting this – but I lay still and decided to follow the path ahead. It’s all I can do.
I can’t/won’t abandon the story. Not yet, anyhow.
I am learning much.
I will continue working on at least two fronts. Wildmind working and Logicmind working.
Wildmind will… back it up. Spend some time listening to the characters… one at a time… and letting them speak to me in their true voices. Scribblebook time – as this work, for me, is best done by hand. I will let them loose and let them talk to me again without the critic, without trying to control them and fit them into my pre-concieved idea of who they are and how they fit into this story. It’s their damned story, not mine, after all. I forget that sometimes.
Logicmind time will be spent playing with the timeline and looking to see how the existing draft can worked on with an eye to revealing the true structure. I will play in Scrivener and with AeonTimeline to SEE THE STORY AS A WHOLE and find the smaller arcs within the main storyline.
I love both processes and I’m thinking that continued steady work on BOTH fronts will bring us through.
Und now… on to the Shaking and Baking of this quarter.
The freezing coldness that seems not to break. I suppose one COULD put this under FIRE – as a temperature thing – but it is the earth all frozen solid solid solid and my body aching and heavy with it and so… I place it here.
Missing people. Distance and unimaginable vastness. Not being with a good friend to sit with him as he grieves a horrible loss. I feel the loss too. A wonderful, kind, generous woman gone from us. (love beaming out to you both)
Talked about this a bit already. There were times, this quarter, when I really, honestly felt like walking away from Sanctuary. There were also times when I simply felt overwhelmed by the amount of work needed and wanted to lay (lie?) in the middle of my bed and weep tears unceasing.
Ice comes to mind. Water frozen as opposed to flowing. Change, growth, halted.
Still struggling to get to the meditation cushion. Distractions. Procrastinations. Sitting here, I don’t really know why it is so hard to “find” or “make” the time. But it is.
Solidness. The solidness of my love for and with The Raggedy Man. Grounding. Good. Tried and trusted. This continues to amaze me. And the fact that it continues to amaze me lets me know that I still cling to old old insecurities and abandonment shite from the WayBack. Hmmm…
Time with a good good friend – out in the wilds… well… out on the ice anyhow. What an amazing day we had, fishing, yacking, eatin’ sammiches. And in the midst of it, a text from a friend at the funeral of the wonderful Grandma B. I was able to send big big love to friends far away. And tell them we caught a fish!
- AND the birth of a beautiful new human – WELCOME Jace. May your journey among us be lit by the light of love. You landed in a most excellent family.
The hardness of this quarter has actually clarified the work plan for Sanctuary and I feel stronger than ever.
- Also – the fabulous Anxiety Pancakes of Susan Swan. So good. So tasty. So nourishing.
Water continues to flow UNDER the ice. I must remember this. Bake it BAKE IT in.
The calm I woke with this morning. The feeling that… it will all work out… in the end.
And, with that… we move on into the final quarter of this year’s Wolf moon.
Energy is winding down. We need to wrap up a few loose ends and then… find rest when the moon goes dark.
Be gentle with yourself, and others, this quarter.
Thanks for popping by.
Go easy ~p