creator, editor, story tender
Happy Friday, All!
Because I am the boss of my own pants, I have decided to embrace a practice that one of my “Roughties” (Lia Pas) has been following for some months. I plan to go offline for the weekends.
SAY WHAT?????!!!!!
It’s a wild idea – but entirely appealing to me.
Will I be able to do it? Who knows. But step one is making sure to get my weekly Chicken/Check In done on Friday’s from now on.
So… sssssuper fast week or what?
And a week of… hearing about… and contemplating change / courage / new adventures. Wheee!
Let’s dive on in.
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being): Eating Breakfast.
Did eat SOMETHING each morning… even if it was just a muffin.
I can do better.
Grab hold… let go… grab hold!
Meaning grab hold of life. Let go of fear. Grab hold of passion.
I have always been a believer in the truth that we can change our lives in an instant.
So I cheer and cheer and cheer for these three friends and for everyone who is
…off on a new adventure…taking a leap…seizing the day…living wildly…
…creating…
…daring to dream…
And as for this one?
I am so happy – here – playing in the garden. Creating a home.
For me, holding still is the grand adventure — for now.
Roots and shoots. Roots and shoots.
I like it.
I want to work on getting back to the mat. I’ve let the yoga slip. Now that it is warming up I will give the morning routine another go.
~~~~

May the earth be firm below you
the air be cool and fragrant
the sun warm
and the rhythms of the waves
carry you safe
til we meet again.
~~~~
Thanks so much for stopping by.
go easy
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
A few tasty questions in the ole inbox this last week. This one came from the Facebook page for Mostly Happy.
Hello Pam Bustin, I love your book and I’m writing about it in my highschool summative. Could you tell me your main messages/ themes for that you want the audience to know in the novel Mostly Happy. Or just the themes that are in hidden in the book. Thank you so much. – R
I am loving these questions from students who are studying the book.
I love hearing from readers and I’m glad they can find me.
I’ve had this question about THEMES a few times recently (must be the time of year that people are writing assignments). I’ve also noticed a few searches for “Themes of Mostly Happy” it in the statistics here, so I decided to take a stab at…. something that might be useful.
First off – I hereby confess that I never set out with a THEME or specific MESSAGE in mind when I write. I start with the characters… or they start with me, to be more precise. I’m one of those crazy people who hears voices. Characters start talking in my head, keeping me awake at night, bugging me until I sit down to work out their story. Bean was no exception.
I’m also not too solid on this whole idea of CAPITOL T Theme when it comes to books. That might sound crazy, but bear with me. What I really mean, I suppose, is that I don’t believe that there is ever just ONE THEME for a book or a play or even a short story. It think that things with one theme are more like… a pamphlet selling you something, or propaganda (though even propaganda can contain many themes…)
For me, Theme is… that almost intangible thing that you take away with you after you have finished a book or a story. It is like… the scent that lingers in the air after a good meal, or the way the smell of lilacs take us back to summertime – no matter when we smell them. Theme is… the thing that remains. The THINGS that remain.
I know that, for myself as a reader – the thing I take away from a book, the thing that lingers long after the book has been closed tends to… vary. I’m a re-reader. And I find different things each time I read one of my favourites. Books or stories like… To Kill a Mockingbird, Slaughterhouse Five, People You’d Trust Your Life To, A Perfect Day for Bananafish (go HERE to find a most excellent post on Salinger), To Esme With Love and Squalor…. and so on….
I remember the first time I read TKAM (To Kill a Mockingbird). I was 10. I re-read it every few years, and each time… something new pops for me. That is a good book. That is a book with layers and depth and truth. And I am VERY aware that what I would name as the “Themes” of TKAM aren’t necessarily what others would have at the top of their list. See… sometimes I ALMOST forget about the whole trial thing…the racism… and all that. For me – TKAM is a book about friendship. It is about Scout and Dill and Jem… and sometimes, it is about Atticus being an honourable man. It is about a father I would love to have. It is about Boo Radley and his protection of the children. I do remember the trial. I remember Atticus standing up for something when everyone else in town seems to be against him, and that line… that fabulous moment … when Scout is up in the balcony with the “coloured folk” and the preacher says “Stand up. Your father’s passing.” The respect for Atticus brings a tear to my eye every time. TKAM is about courage and integrity and justice and the importance of a moral education and…. Well… perhaps you see my point. There are innumerable themes that we can grab onto and explore. That is part of what makes it such a good book.
Now… am I crazy enough to think that Mostly Happy is on par with TKAM. Oh don’t I WISH?!? But that isn’t what I’m really saying. I’m just hoping that MH engages readers in a personal way and that they find a variety of themes in it. And, yes, I also hope that some readers will return to the book… more than once.
So… I guess I am hesitant to talk about the Themes in Mostly Happy. Knowing that, whatever I may have MEANT to convey to the reader… what they really take from the book will be entirely personal and unique. And, I hope that if they ever return to the book … they will find something completely different. Something more. Something that will make them want to read it again…in a few more years.
That said… I have talked with readers about some interesting themes that they have found. Threads they have traced through the book. Things they have taken away with them.
So – to help those of you who chose to read Mostly Happy for school and have an assignment due where you have to talk about THEME… I offer up some of those as a way to start you on your way to finding out which themes resonate the most with you. Sound fair?
Happiness: The meaning of happiness; why Bean is “Mostly happy” as opposed to “Almost happy” (Almost= she would be happy if ONLY she had this or that…. Mostly= she really is pretty much happy)
Survival: How and why Bean manages to survive her rather dark and twisty childhood (don’t want any spoilers on here, so I won’t get specific)
Friendship: Why Bean and Goose click and what holds them together over the years
Sexuality: Bean’s, Goose’s, Prissy’s…. all different, all interesting.
Guilt: What is the guilt Bean carries at the opening of the novel? Has the weight lifted or shifted by the end of her story?
Coming of Age: What does Bean learn along the way? How does she grow and change throughout the novel?
Mother/Daughter Relationship: Bean and Prissy…. what is going on there? Prissy and Dee?
Survivor/Victim – Taking a look at how Bean moves through the world, compare/contrast it to how Dee and Prissy move through the world. See anything interesting?
Language: Bean’s language evolves throughout the book. It isn’t just that she is growing up. How does language and the way we speak, the way we put our thoughts together reflect who we are in the world?
The Things We Carry: What are the things – tangible items, memories, scars or joys that we carry through our lives? Why is it important to stop at some point in our life and LOOK at these things? Are we free to decide what we choose to carry?

Butterflies: There is a whole thread to be followed here too… The Monarchs… what is UP with those butterflies?
Spirituality: Bean’s relationship with God, with the church….
and so on and so on and so on….
Does this help?
Or make it even more confusing?
And…After all that… let me say this…
It’s simple, I suppose…
I hope that they will see Bean as a complete person.
That they will understand that being a survivor of abuse is only PART of who she is.
I hope that if someone (a girl or a boy) is in a dark time when they find the book, that it will help lead them out of the shadow and into the light.
That’s the bottom line.
I also hope that people find courage and hope and strength in the book. That they laugh and cry… and give the book away to a pal… and then buy another copy for themselves. Heh heh.
I really do hope this helps.
If you have any more questions, please drop me a line. I promise not to ramble on so much next time.
go easy ~ p
Sandy B: “The theme that stuck out for me was poverty. I just reread it and yes, many things came up, mostly how child poverty shapes you for the rest of your life.”
John R: “For me, it was the strength that Bean had. Looking after everyone, including herself…It shows how resilient children are and that even at such a young age, children figure out how to cope. It is later in life that they have to figure things out…when they are strong enough to be able to deal with abusive childhoods they have had.”
I am so far from being a pessimist…on the contrary, in spite of my scars, I am tickled to death at life. -Eugene O’Neill
Hulloo Hallay – I’m back today!
And glad to be so.
The greening up of the world continues, though it is currently only +4C. The garden has been expanded. The soil is all glistening out there in the rain, waiting to be seeded with tasty beauty. It will be a short growing season, methinks…but a season of much joy for this one who very much enjoys the digging in the dirt.

It has been a fun-filled couple of weeks. Action packed. Much travel. Much talk. Much thought-full thinking and eye-popping glories beheld.
Train rides and car rides and walks galore!
Talks with friends and family long missed.
A fantastic writing retreat with my Rough Writers that carried me almost to the finale of Sanctuary (NIP) almost…almost…
but
not
quite
…. and so… the work continues on that front.
I’m glad to be back – back home and back online. I’m playing a bit of catch up this week. The routine re-emerges. The writing has held steady (huzzah!), and the rest of the doings are slipping back into place.
The retreat came at the perfect time. There was the writing… but there was also the walking and the weeping. Much weeping. In a good way. I spent most of the 3 days outside, absorbing the sun and basking in the stillness of the Abbey and the grounds. I took my scribble book with me, always. I wrote. I read. I wept. I sat in silence and let the chickadees land in my hair and the bunnies nibble my toes. It was a time of re-affirmation for my self as an artist. I celebrated the work done over the winter. I took a good long look at what I am doing and … most importantly… I remembered why I am doing it. Outstanding.
I hope you find some stillness this week…and in the stillness, a confidence that you are on the right track.
And now… to slip back onto the track that has carried me through the year thus far. Let’s shake out the last coupla weeks.
I aimed to take the time to SEE the world and the folks who entered my sphere… back in SK, on the train, in Sudbury, and here at home again. To pause pause pause…suspend the moment… hear what was said…see what was meant…open and receive the words and meaning, the light and love, the sadness… all of it. And to return the light, lend what light I can to all.
Hmm…. I believe this intention came and went… came and went… As many do – for me, anyhow.
I’m learning.
I still find myself quite… protective of my self. It isn’t a bad thing. It has kept me alive, for sure. But I do feel a shifting. Less fear I think. This is good.
Letting go of expectations and enjoying the ride.
It’s funny how so many people, hearing the stories from the trip say, “Oh my gawd…what ELSE could have gone wrong?”
We do tell it for comic effect… heading out into a blizzard, having the car die on the highway, missing the train by 10 minutes, hunkering down in Foleyet for 3 days…. and then this … and then this… and then that…
But the thing is… I had a fabulous trip. I truly truly loved it all.
Heading back to basics…. breakfast….
EAT YOUR BREAKFAST, MISSY!
Amazing the things I let go of, isn’t it? Even when I KNOW they are good for me.
Sheesh. What is UP with that?
~~~~

May you stand out in the open
With your vision held clear and steady.
No more cringing…no more hiding.
Embrace your strength and remember
We are weaving the world
together.
~~~~
Thanks so much for stopping by.
go easy
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
Take three…
Hullo Sweeties.
All is well in PamLand.
Sending off my first ever mobile post from The Roastery in Saskatoon and I would totally link to their site…if only I knew how to make it work.
It has been a wild ride to get here.
Stay tuned for “three days in Foleyet”
Could be an album…could be a book of poetry … There are deffo pics to post.
For now…
This is me waving madly from the side of the road.
I’m off to a writers’ retreat with my fierce and lovely Rough Writers…
Stay wild.
Stay curious.
And always…
Go easy ~ p
She’s… on the move. Popping on to wave hello and to craft a super quick chicken.

Time for a lil Quick Draw…yes?
…to…
Enjoy each moment…pay good attention.
Enjoy clearing spaces and the shiftings to let Spring in…
And… Enjoy the trip and all that it holds. The faces of friends. The land. The sound of prayers rising up.
Grand and… to be continued…
Take that time. When the ice is coming off – go out and sit with it.
It only comes once a year.
This has been baking in all winter. Get outside when the sun is shining. Shift the schedule to meet the day. It is worth it. And know that you will return and still get the “work” done. It’s all good.
See above 😉
Short and sweet – but that’s it for me this week.
Twas quite fantastic.
And we had birthday fun too.
Thanks so much for popping by.
go easy, friends
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
I’m a gal, after London’s heart, who would “rather sing one wild song…” But man… it can be exhausting, eh?
I’d rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet. ~ Jack London
I’m with ya, Jack. I’m still with ya. A life LIVED and a tale TOLD.
That said…
It’s been quite a week for me and the current song working it’s way out. A twisty-curvy topsy-turvy roller coaster. One day I LOVE it… the next day I HATE it. All par for the course…of course of course.
I know this, but when the dark days come – that punch in the gut can still take me down. The doubt. The creeping despair. Ergh.
So… I wrote this to myself… to remind me of some ways around/through/past the pain… And I pass it on to anyone who is feeling a bit… STUCK… on something this week.
When you get stuck …
Don’t just STOP… And for GAWDsakes don’t just sit there staring at the thing. Do a wild rush around the edges… scrawl something by hand…. set the timer for 5 or 10 mad minutes and run directly AT the bugger…or write about owls or your feet or something scary something sweet some THING for the 5or10…. move the hand…. move the hand…
The aim is to refute the stuckage. You are not stuck, but you may need to create a space for the words to come through so… play a little. Loosen up.
Move the hand. Move the BODY. Take a breathe.
Do four minutes of bamboo breathing and then another mad rush.
Do a Down Dog and hold it for 4 or 8 or 12 breaths and then another mad rush.
Whatever it takes. Just don’t STOP and walk away with that horror in your mouth. Get … just past it…
This container of hours is working for you and your sanity. The dreads are held at bay by the magic container. And this… thing… this thing is growing. And there is fierce beauty in it.
Once your “hours” are up… then you can really, physically, GET AWAY FROM IT!
But … and here you need to listen to me….
When you are looking to open to something … remember to “Get away from it” – BY YOURSELF. Take a walk or a swim or a paddle, work in the garden, go to sleep, bake bread, draw, listen to music, meditate, exercise…. You are free… but you are working sideways…. So – and this is important – don’t seek out others… Don’t read yet, or listen to a book, or watch a movie. I’m not sure why music is different… but it is. Don’t make telephone calls or go on facebook or to the ABE forum or seek out COMPANY.
Don’t stuff yourself with the words of others…. stay silent and alone for a while longer.
You don’t have to “think about” the work. In fact, it works best when you don’t directly think about. When you occupy yourself with something else… and let things rise up on their own. It is about drifting…not tugging…not digging… It is about allowing.
Because the words are inside of you. Open a space for them, create an opening. Be patient. The words will come.
I hope your creativity is bursting forth this week. But if you hit a bump… I send solace… an a wave from this muddy Northern shore. Keep going.
… to play with this idea of one thing at a time
Ahhhh…. fantastic!
Felt far less… “rushed” and yet… it all got done. It’s a timebendy miracle!
You know how to do this. Keep on. Just keep on.
I mean this for the book – and life as well. It’s a simple truth. But the simple ones are so often the ones that slip out of our hands, aren’t they? Or we forget them somehow.
It will be a week of… tidying, sorting, clearing and packing…in and amongst the writing, of course. And then I will be on the road So… hmm… I would like something to play with…for the next TWO weeks.
In keeping with the One Think at a Time…. I would like to invoke a SEEMINGLY SUPER SIMPLE intention for the next few weeks.
Which is…
Enjoy each moment…pay good attention.
There are plans for dinners out this week, enjoy them.
Enjoy clearing spaces and the shiftings to let Spring into the Shaky Shack.
And… Enjoy the trip and all that it holds. The faces of friends. The land. The sound of prayers rising up.
Let there be rest. Let there be energy.
Let there be strength enough and time enough and will enough
and always…
joy and gratitude overflowing.
For all of us.
Thanks so much for popping by. I’ll close out with some pics of the BAY emerging into Spring. It’s my first attempt at inserting a SLIDESHOW – hope it works. I think you just click on the photo below and you will see all 14 pics….
go easy, friends
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.

Back from a walk up the lane in my Pink Rubber Boots!
They aren’t quite the polka dotted beauties pictured above… but they are pretty sweet nonetheless and… YAY PUDDLES! HUZZAH for MUD! Woop and woot and a rooty-toot-toot!
I hope your world is covered in mud too… or small growing things…
Another week… another chance to shake it all out and see what went on…
Let there be rest. Let there be energy. Let there be strength enough and time enough and will enough and always…joy and gratitude overflowing.
And yes… there was… thanks for that.
There is enough time… one thing at a time feels better than the mad dash
from this to that and back again
I found myself doing too many things at once this week. Not unusual as I tend to “multi-task” a lot but…
I’m feeling less and less inclined to work this way.
I think this is stemming from the focus I have gained and the feeling of AHHHH that comes when I shut everything else out and sit for those two solid writing hours with NO INTERRUPTIONS at all at all.
I would like to play with this idea of one thing at a time in a broader way this week. See how it feels.
And you know what… because it felt so good last week… let me close again with my wee prayer for us all…
Let there be rest. Let there be energy.
Let there be strength enough and time enough and will enough
and always…
joy and gratitude overflowing.
For all of us.
Thanks so much for popping by.
go easy, friends
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
A post-dramatic approach to breast cancer treatment - by a recovering drama queen
Because there's never enough time to do it right the first time but there's always enough time to do it over
Stories and photos from Scotland
Historical fiction, poetry, essays
A post-dramatic approach to breast cancer treatment - by a recovering drama queen
Because there's never enough time to do it right the first time but there's always enough time to do it over
Stories and photos from Scotland
Historical fiction, poetry, essays