i dreamed…

kitchen

i dreamed of a 70s kitchen  and these tv trays…
there was an orange fireplace and
magnetic poetry
about
beer…

 

orange-fireplacei brought the dream

and the fireplace

to nanowrimo land.

 

we romped.

so it goes~p

brave enough…

brave-enough

Today’s post features a picture of me from the way-back.  The photo was taken by my friend Rick and used in the promotion of my one woman show barefoot.

The play is… well… it’s sort of a journey though one woman’s healing from Child Sexual Abuse.  Fun, right?  It was actually … in parts.  I could always tell who the survivors were in the crowd, because they were the ones laughing.  Somethings are only funny from the other side.

Today at the Oasis, one of the writing prompts was…

What I am brave enough to feel these days…

And here’s what I wrote….

~~o~~

I am brave enough to feel the helplessness, the hopelessness that waves over me.  Knowing that it shall pass.

I am brave enough to feel this call towards creating art — even though I feel like I never actually DO, that these notebooks are not art, not ART at least.

I am brave enough to feel the challenge from artists like Patti Smith and Georgia O’Keefe to… “Do the work. Do the work. Do your work.” 

Yes.  I do I do I do hear you, and I will, I do, I will, I am—doing it.

I am brave enough to feel that I am an artist and that I have something to offer.

I am brave enough to feel that I will find my form, my expression. That the flailing about has been part of it.  Part of finding my way. Towards the writing of love letters to the world.  To the drawing of maps.  

 Oh yes please….

Let us do our drawings.  

~ our collages.  

~ our photography 

~ our writing 

Let us do it ~ do it ~ do it.

~~o~~

 

And I am brave enough to post it here because…?

Because I know that you are out there reading this and that you, whoever you are, need to see my flailings and…take heart.

You need to know that you are brave enough to do your work, and to get your work out there, no matter what.

Work on, my loves.

go easy~p

PS: here’s a lil inspiration from Patti Smith (who I am insanely in love with these days).  It’s a video of her speaking about Robert Mapplethorpe at the Grand Palais in Paris.

At 2:36 she sings the most beautiful little song…. get ready to weep.

 

found…

walking-his-way-to-water

Ever have one of those days when you go and look for something and you trip down the rabbit hole of…memory?

Like boxes of old photos or paper files or, even scarier somehow (to one like me who tends to hoard old things), DIGITAL versions of …. Stuff… old files and photos on an old computer that somehow didn’t make the move from one hard-drive to another?

So went my day today.

But still… some time spent scribbling and for that I say,  Bless.  And am grateful.

And… for this one photo…

This great shot of the Raggedy Man walking down a beach near Ucluelet.  I say,  Worth it!

Write on, my people.

Go easy~p

transform the energy…

yoko

Today I got to spend an hour with Sarah Selecky and a group of wonderful writers.

Sarah  called it an SOS call for writers.  A time to just come together and write our way out of … reactivity… and re-connect with our own deep-inner terrain. Getting back to some basic, calming, writing practice.  Back to the deep-noticing state that feeds our work (and our souls).

It was lovely and powerful.  Especially hearing participants read out their words – so raw and wonderful.  I wept a lot as I listened.  And I took heart.

The thing that I took the most joy in was…slowing down.  Even when I write by hand in The Scrib, I so often write FAST.  Fast fast fast fast – as though I will never catch the words as they fly by me.  One of Sarah’s rules for writing practice is to write with CARE, meaning slowing down to form the letters of the word.  I love how she described this …. “as if you are creating a pen and ink drawing with each word.”  So often my morning scribbles are just exactly THAT – scribbles that I can barely read afterward.  It was nice to slooooowwwwww myself down today and enjoy the flow of ink onto the page…word by word.  Ahhh.

I am so grateful to Sarah for offering up this call.  She’s amazing.

I loved the Yoko Ono quote that she closed the call with, so I hunted it down.  The quote is from her song, Revelations, on the album Yes, I’m a Witch.

Thanks to the glory that is YouTube, I listened to some Yoko and meandered my way through today’s adventure in NaNoLand.

Good times.

Hope the words are flowing for those of you playing in NaNoLand, and those of you who aren’t but are still out there scribbling away.

Thanks for stopping by.

Go easy ~p

 

Links of love and wonder:

Sarah Selecky’s personal website: http://www.sarahselecky.com

Sarah’s Story Is A State of Mind (online creative writing school):

http://www.storyisastateofmind.com

A letter from Sarah (there are MORE letters to explore on the site): http://www.storyisastateofmind.com/for-writers-after-the-american-election/

And a lil Yoko…

 

I forget to pray for the angels…

angels

I forget to pray for the angels, and then the angels forget to pray for us….

Yes.  How I forget so very much.  That seems to be my theme today.

The things I let slide away away away…. The things I start with all good intention.  Always things that I feel will… both feed me and feed my work and help others, make the world a better place and make me a better person. What do I even mean by that?  By better?  What what what what do I mean?

I mean….less NetFlix (especially violent shit), more praying, more time in silence or with music that uplifts my spirit.

I mean… simple things.  Small steps that happen daily that take me towards that Future Self that I sometime get glimpses of.

She is so cool.

So cool that she can’t really be me, right?

You ever have that feeling?

It isn’t that she is “perfect” — it’s that she is strong and sure and she is so incredibly … generous (in a way that doesn’t drain her) and … capable.  She is capable.  And calm.  And mostly smiling.  But I also know that she is able to stand when called upon — to defend (others, the land, the waters).

I want to capture this in a poem.  Something I can memorize and carry with me.  Something simple.

I want… a blessing from this future self.

Like … All will be well and all will be well and all manner of things will be well.

Like… You do not have to be good…you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles though the desert, repenting.  You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves….

Again again… I vow to learn Oliver’s poem (Wild Geese) by heart.

And again I am grateful for the wisdom of Julianne of Norwich.

Yes.

And again, always, I feel that my words are not…good enough, clear enough, simple enough YET.

But I honour the yearning.

I honour the yearning, and the showing up to work each day.  I do this.  I work each day, towards clarity. On and off the page.

When I think about what it is I have to offer the world, what it is to “carry my own weight” here on the planet, I return and return and return to this gift I have been given. The gift of being able to string words together with a rythmn and an honesty that sometimes brings my meaning, my yearning, home to others in a clear way.  Words that once in a while can reach into people.

Oh man, I so often I feel that I am frittering this gift away.  I seem to be afraid of my own words.  I seem to take every wrong path towards whatever it is that I am trying to get to, to express.  I hang my head. I hang my head. I hang my head.

I know that it will not come from the chasing.

I know that I do need to be here (in my Scribble book), every day, and to continue to work at expressing myself to myself — because this is how I am learning to craft… words.

The work is the work is the work but the thing I seek will not come from racing down the so so many roads that other people have lain.

I believe that what I am seeking is…more  like… grace.  That doing the work is the way to… allow this grace to manifest.

The work is to come here each day and

The work is to breathe and listen and

The work is to pay attention out in the world—be the world outside the house or inside this computer.

But more so, more often, outside this computer.

In this skin, on this planet that is so very often full of pain and fear and injustice.

The work is in the opening.

Well all right.  I feel a bit better now.  And…

I need to go and sit for a time on my wee meditation bench.

And listen.

Thanks for stopping by.

Go easy ~p

hope begins….

hope-begins

A strange, unsettled morning.

No.  That’s not right.  It isn’t strange, but I am unsettled.

It was a morning of…distraction.  Good distraction if that is possible, but still… distraction.

I am doing something different this month.  Working on the computer FIRST THING, in the time I usually work by hand in the Scrib.  I am doing this as a way to…clearly see how much I actually write each day – including the time spent doing my morning scribble.

I KNOW that when I do this, I need to be sure to CREATE before I consume –meaning that I DON’T log in to online forums or facebook or even check my email before I do my morning’s “work.”

I didn’t do that this morning and I’ve spent over 3 hours now wandering around devouring the words of others and getting very few of my own onto the page.

So it goes.

My wanderings began with this wonderful offering from Sarah Selecky over on her Story is a State of Mind site:

http://www.storyisastateofmind.com/for-writers-after-the-american-election/

It is such a beautiful post and in the comments, people are sharing poems and… she also offers some amazing resources and recommended reading for writers (and other humans).

Sarah is also offering up a “free SOS call” — a guided writing practice — on Wednesday.

I plan on being there.

And now… I need to go for a walk to clear my head and then I will settle in to see what comes of today’s rich rich inspiration.

Thanks for stopping by.

May your day be full of wonder.

go easy ~p

Sequester my heart…Or not…

sequester-my-heart

 

I love this quote from Jeanette Witherspoon’s The Passion: “Sequester my heart. Wherever love is, I want to be.  I will follow it as surely as the land-locked salmon finds the sea.

I love it except that, today, I got to thinking about the first line– about the idea of sequestering my heart.  I don’t want to do that.  Or at least not in the sense of hiding away or shutting myself off from things or people.  Though sometimes, like this week, the urge to do so is strong strong upon me.

My writing and thinking and poking about online today took me towards something else.  Towards the idea of using the energy of this love to move towards this world, instead of hiding away from things that seem hard.

So today I say no to sequestering my heart, but a hearty YES to the idea that wherever  love is, I want to be.  Not romantic love – but love for our fellow creatures, for this land, for this planet.  Turning to love as opposed to hate.  To bravery instead of fear.  To caring and compassion instead of anger.

My friends are so wise and so wonderful.

My friend Wendy posted the most glorious thing on her facebook page the day after the election. I don’t feel right putting up her entire post, but I hope that she will glad for me to share a bit of her wisdom with you.  She wrote:

You need to be you. You need to be you in goodness and “other” centric focus – for our sisters, our brothers, other species… the planet. As much as possible – YOU NEED TO BE LOVE. 

I need to be. Every moment, every minute I can muster – I need to be thinking clearly, creatively responding and walk a better path – and I need to know that this little flicker of energy that is me and my approach, unwinds from me and trickles in [to the collective mass of energy – a Guf of sorts that houses all the opportunities out of which we can guide our future] – and I need to be okay with not getting the WINS or the PRIZES or the POWER, I need to be okay with actively doing something to balance the energy for all of us.

I love this and I take up the challenge to do likewise.  With my work and in my daily round.

With everything I can muster.

And when I grow weary… I will replay the wise words from The Patchwork Grandmothers as offered up by my dear friend Andrea Menard it this wonderful video about Embracing What Is.

 

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend.

go easy ~p

With a love so vast and shattered…

leonard-cohen-best-album-3949f4ea-581b-4ceb-9799-98fdee988b80

 

I greet you from the other side
Of sorrow and despair
With a love so vast and shattered
It will reach you everywhere
And I sing this for the captain
Whose ship has not been built
For the mother in confusion
Her cradle still unfilled

For the heart with no companion
For the soul without a king
For the prima ballerina
Who cannot dance to anything

Through the days of shame that are coming
Through the nights of wild distress
Tho’ your promise count for nothing
You must keep it nonetheless

You must keep it for the captain
Whose ship has not been built
For the mother in confusion
Her cradle still unfilled

For the heart with no companion …

I greet you from the other side …

(Heart With No Companion – by Leonard Cohen)

 

And because today is also Remembrance Day here in Canada, here is Leonard Cohen reciting  “In Flanders Fields” by John McCrae. He recorded this last year for Legion Magazine.

We lost another great artist today.  Thank god he left us his words and music.

The Raggedy Man and I drove to town for the ceremony at the Legion.  Home now and the fire is lit.

Be kind to each other.

Go easy~p

Everywhere is falling everywhere…

new-rule

 

Yesterday, I spent some time with friends including the poet Rumi and the wonderful Marion Woodman (who I am just coming to know).

I found this poem – The New Rule by Rumi in a book that slipped into my hand yesterday as I wandered the aisles of the town library.

I did a small scribble yesterday, but found myself needing to spend time in the company of friends instead of alone with my own thoughts and words.  So grateful for friendships–be the friends near or far away.  Be they humans who actually KNOW me, or artists who shine so bright that I am drawn to their work.

I returned to the Writing Burrow this morning and continue to reach for words.  They are my way through and I hope that, one day, some words of mine may comfort someone as much as I have been comforted by the words of others.

The book I found in the library yesterday is Bone by Marion Woodman. I look forward to spending time with her today.

Links to further reading (for myself):

Article: http://parabola.org/2016/01/29/marion-woodman-and-the-search-for-the-conscious-feminine-by-patty-de-llosa/

Profile of Marion Woodman: http://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/marion-woodman-profile/

Listening to Our Deepest Wisdom, Part One: The Soul’s Vulnerability (With Tami Simons from Sounds True): http://www.soundstrue.com/store/weeklywisdom/?page=single&category=IATE&episode=7041

Listening to Our Deepest Wisdom, Part Two: The Soul’s Vulnerability (With Tami Simons from Sounds True): http://www.soundstrue.com/store/weeklywisdom/?page=single&category=IATE&episode=7059

 

And a taste of Marion – for the curious…

 

Go easy~p

PS – For Nancy – who asked for the link to the webcam that is just up (or is it down) river from our shaky shack.  Here ya go:

http://www.canadianfishing.com/1-galleries/for-webcam/

how we look on love…

muffles

Today, a story just began itself….

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