Pam Bustin
creator, editor, story tender
Well ain’t that a kick in the pants?
Hey there, wild ones.
Some great news this week on the Mostly Happy front. I heard from Thistledown and they want to bring out an ebook version in 2013.
A few of you have asked me about this and I truly MEANT to call Thistledown and then… TADA – they contacted me about it. How groovy is that?
I’ll keep you posted on when things actually get rolling on this.
ALSO…
Heard from a book club down in Southern ON who are reading Mostly Happy right now! They are a newly formed club and they chose to dive in with Bean and the gang for their first selection. We are all honoured and wish them a long and illustrious run. May they read many books and enjoy a fair few of them!
They contacted me to see if there was any sort of… book club kit or at least some questions to get the discussion rolling. Well…. I must confess that though I have visited with a few clubs in person, I never DID get around to making up a kit.
But – thank you, Anita, for contacting me because … you gave me the kick in the pants I needed to at least BEGIN one. I now have Mostly Happy Chat Guide.
!!!! WARNING – CONTAINS SPOILERS !!!!
I’d love to add to it – so if you have any suggestions for me – fire away.
Gotta dash… need to cook me and my beloved raggedy man some supper.
Is the world melting where you live?
Our poor rink is…. slipping into slushdom….
Be well all.
go easy -p
Shake and Bake 14: A Very Quick Chicken
Wherein Pam pops on for a quick chicken/check in and to say…
Halloo Hallay happy folk!
Being still a TAD off “schedule” this week….
And being… in town today helping with some un-decorating…
I hereby declare this a Super Quick Chicken.
But I did want to say “hello” and note how the week went… so here we go…
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention. Feel free to join in.
To shake things up – let us use a different form today.
Let me just say…
I have had a lovely week.
New Years Eve was spent by the fire with movies and tasty food with my lovely Raggedy Man.
New Years Day was spent in the glorious out doors and in our tune filled kitchen. Some dancing in our “sock feet” and some calls to and fro with friends far far away.
I am working my way through last year’s SCRIBBLE books. It is taking me far longer than I thought it would – about 3 hours per month. I will begin reading through APRIL tomorrow.
I am reading through as a sort of … review of the year.
Making some notes.
Finding some treasures that were meant for the NIP and hadn’t made it in yet.
And other gems.
And… I’ve been thinking about how to proceed with this here blogthing. I’ve gotten a few suggestions…
Some possibilities:
- Putting up some posts from a private journal I began last year called “Gimme Shelter: Two Writers in a Shakey Shack” It was meant to be a way for me to track… our life here. The work we do on the camp (cabin), and how the writing is going.
- Responses to books I’m reading – not really REVIEWS, but more like… what the reading … leads me to.
- An “Ask Pam” section – where I answer questions from readers and fellow scribblers. And a the first suggestions are… What exactly is THE SCRIB and how and why do you do it?
Any other suggestions for future posts are welcome…
Drop me a line if you have any ideas.
All I really know is that I would like to create a place where we can talk (if you’d like to), where you might find a giggle or at least something to make you smile, and perhaps some solace when the world gets spinning too fast.
I’m still thinking… reviewing… plotting…
Who knows what could happen here.
I do hope to DOODLE more.
I know that.
Yes.
A doodle-filled blog of ramblings… that’s not so horrid to imagine.
OK me lovlies… I must fly.
It’s almost time to take down the tree.
But before I go…
Gotta have this bit…
The Doings that help me with the Being (Mustn’t lose these)
Work on NIP: Some good shifts – but not every day.
Walks: Took the form of some snow shoeing and SHOVELLING off the rink – 4 times. Still no skating though 😉
Guitar: Oh Pree… say you still love me. Some chord practice but not much fun playing.
Yoga/Meditation: Mmmmmm mat love continues.
NEXT WEEK’S EXPERIMENT/FUN Filled Activity:
Is to continue with my review of the SCRIB 2012 and see what I learn.
AND….
To get back on track with the ole sched-doolie.
Sending wishes for a year filled with grace and growth and giggles
to you all
Thanks for stopping by.
go easy -p
May we be…
I am struck with the FEARS this morning.
What are the FEARS? Well, I suppose they are different for all of us. They are the waking in the night. The dread. The worries. The crushing feeling of… failing that overcomes us in the dark. For me, it is usually connected to work – to THE work – to writing.
The Fears come to remind me that… I am not working hard enough. That what I’m working on isn’t any good. That what I’m working on is not… “worthy”. Worthy of what? Well now, who the hell knows? These are the Fears. They don’t have to make sense.
This bout has obviously been brought on by my absence from the pages of the NIP over the Holidays. I get that. I let my work … slide to the side… and the Dreaded Fears are here to greet me. I also know that the email chat yesterday with a fellow writer about “promotion” and the news of a friend of a friend who has been dropped by her publisher in mid-career for no understandable reason have added to the cloud of doooooom circling me as I slept.
The email chat was with a friend who has just had his first book published and is in that sore state of…. SILENCE on the reviewing front. Wondering “how does one get a review in the Globe and Mail or the New York Times?” My heart aches for him. And… I’ve no advice to offer at all. I have no idea how to “get a book reviewed.” The conversation has thrown me back to memories of the promotion I did when Mostly Happy came out. The fun and fabulous book tour, and the…. Absolute Exhaustion that set in afterwards. I had a great time on the road, seeing friends, reading in great bookstores, bars, people’s homes. I sold some books. I did some Morning Television in a few cities, I was interviewed a few times. I did everything I could to help launch Bean into the world. And then I .. Well.. I fell down for a few weeks (or was it months?). Exhausted by it all. I never did land an interview with Jian or Strombo, and Oprah’s people did not call. Not…. YET anyhow. Ha.
I did win some awards for the book. And, best of all, I still hear from people who love the book. That helps a LOT. And I really do think that this sort of response should be … ENOUGH… but yesterday’s conversation about promotion of books revealed that there is still a bit of an… ache inside my heart. The SILENCE that greets the release of our long worked on masterpiece can be such a heartache. Was for me, anyhow.
And then to hear the story of a mid-list writer…. Good sales… Some awards… Good critical reviews… A strong presence online (blogs, social media, all the things we are supposed to do these days)… being unceremoniously cut free from her publisher and having the feeling that no one else will ever pick her up and that if she wants to continue publishing she will have to… begin again…. Well… It can take the wind out of one’s sails, non?
So… I know where the FEARS came from this morning.
I also know that I don’t want to end a year with them and I sure as hell don’t want to begin 2013 in a FUNK. That simply will not do. It’s not on. You hear me?
I sit and think…. “What am I doing? Why am I doing this?”
I sit here and think about the NIP – the book I am currently working on and I wonder what the point is. How will I ever find a publisher and/or an Agent? How will I ever find the energy necessary to promote another book? How will I….. I close my eyes and bring the characters to mind. They are nervous. They think I am about to abandon them. The boy who doesn’t speak steps forward and takes my hand. The bells begin to ring and the magpie lands on my shoulder. The sheriff steps forward, and his wife. The townsfolk emerge from the dimness. The elders smile. The girl takes my other hand and we all stand together. We will be fine. We are making a world. This is our job right now – not worrying about the future. First we need to make the world. We need to build Sanctuary. The rest… We will deal with the rest of it when the time comes.
We are reaching for something. Sometimes I don’t even know what it is. I want to write something… outstanding, I suppose. Something…incredible. Something… world-changing. Or at least …fun. Oh how I long to write something fun and entertaining that will also make you cry. Because crying is good and laughing is… transcendent.
These FEARS… when they come, strike me dumb and numb. They strike me … silent.
And that is no way to begin a new year.
No way at all.
This is not a morning for the FEARS. I have a story to work on. The story of Izzy and Dunny, Hank and Minna and the town of Asiloverde. I have a novel in progress that we call Sanctuary and I need to get the hell back to work on it.
And, for the dark nights ahead, I’ve the company of a few good storytellers. Linda Spalding is here with her newest gem, The Purchase. And my old friend, Ursula K Le Guin, has just come in the door with her Tales from Earthsea. I have Threefold to read from my fellow 3day Novel cohort B.M.L. Gordon and shelves and shelves of other treasures to be plundered.
Yes.
Let us all gather by the fire and tell each other stories. Stories that will push back the dark and the Dreads.
Spring is coming.
May you find your own way to fight back the Fears.
I thank you so much for your presence here as I bumble along the road of life. And I offer up a Loving Kindness Meditation to carry us all into the new year.
May we be happy.
May we be safe from inner and outer harm.
May we be content with our selves just as we are.
May our hearts be open.
Be well, friends.
Go easy -p
Shake and Bake 13: The “Chim-Chim-Cheree” Edition
Wherein Pam curls up by the fire with Tippy the Typer and her new chimney brush to… review the week and begin the dreaming up of improbable shenanigans for the coming year.
Halloo Hallay — happy snowy day to all!
I am the proud owner of a brand new chimney sweeping brush – bringing back fond fond memories of my grandfather and the summer I spent working with him as a Sweep in the way-back.
Hope your holidays have been full of joy and fun and that you still have some time for… continuing revels.
And now… on with the Shaking and Baking…
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention. Feel free to join in.
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
Work on NIP: Sat and thought, making plans for how to work this week and decided to… take the entire week off. Bit of an experiment. The DREAD and the the feeling of … Abject FAILURE returned with a vengeance after 4 days off.
!!NO CAN DO THE STOPPING!!
This is good to know. The HOURS really are working. OK. I shall return to them – work each day. Each day. Each day.
Walks: Does shopping count? 😉 Actually got out and about everyday though my walks were mostly in town.
Guitar: Left Pree at home while we were in town – she shall rise again, I swear.
Yoga/Meditation: Some sitting, not much stretching. And, boy-howdy do I feel the lack.
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
This week I simply worked on staying with/in the moment.
THE RESULT: another adventure of … noticing. So often I drift off – to fret, to plan, to thoughts of other things, to the stories running in my head. With the noticing, I found myself drawn back into the moment. To enjoying the moment as it happened. To being present with the people in the room. Very cool.
And…the rest of the week…
THE GNARBLY BITS:
– the return of the DREADS and that horrible horrible feeling that comes upon me when I feel that I am not “doing my work”. I did my morning SCRIBble each day – but some were shorter than usual and that didn’t help either. MUST DO THE SCRIB – I know this. Now I for sure also know that the WRITING HOURS are also necessary – and that the day by day thing feels better than a gaping void of no work and then the BIG LONG SPLURGE. The splurge day feels good – feels grand. But the void days feel baaaaa-aaad. I prefer the steady on ahead dealio I’ve had going on for the past few months.
– overall feeling of … not so goodness from being out of my normal routine. Hmm…. not a bad thing really. Just noticing that this routine I have been following is really… a good thing. That it helps my mood and my body and… that is coolio.
– bit o’ guilt or something building up about this here blog thing. I really don’t want it to be ONLY these Shake and Bakes. Hmm… Tis a Thing to Think on. The reviewing my week thing is good (for me). I like it. But… well, there simply must be… more/other things. I think. More…doodling and noodling on other things…so it isn’t all about me me me… cuz that… well, in truth that just “bores my tits off” as they say.
Shall turn the ole mind to this dilemna and see what visions come.
THE TASTY BITS:
+ Gathering together with friends and family, so much laughter. I’m grateful for it all.
+ Finding fun and lovely giftys for people. Things to make them smile.
+ The rip and tear of present day and the giggles and a few tears. Warm hearts gathered.
+ Celebrating the life of a friend, and saying farewell.
+ Allowing time to slow down and sit quietly amidst the hustle and bustle.
+ Stepping outside in the night to gaze up at the full moon.
+ Taking the time to shovel off a rink out on the river – making ready for moonlight skates and sunny afternoon hockey games with our new sticks.
+ Receiving love. Allowing it in. Ahhhhhh. In person and through the mail. What joys you sent me. Thank ye much.
+ The luxury of long soakers and watching movies and a very fun Sherlock series we’d never seen in our not so secret town hideaway.
+ The big splurge of the season – cozy cozy slippers big enough to fit the feet of my beloved giantman. The true joy – him strutting around in them with that grin on his face.
NEXT WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
hmmm…. what I would like to do this coming week is …
- Get back on track with the morning routine.
- Take some time to review this past year and to think on what I would like to do/see/explore in 2013 – including what I would like to do with this blogthing.
That’s it for me….
Sending bright blessings to you all for a swell wrap up of 2012.
May 2013 bring you…. magic.
Thanks for stopping by.
go easy -p
Shake and Bake 12: The Comfort and Joy Edition
Wherein Pam celebrates the fact that we are all still here… and bemoans the state of her hair. Even though she knows how petty that sounds.
I’m here a bit early this week, as I’ll be in town tomorrow and awaaaaay from Tippy the Typer.
I hope your week was full of surprises and moments of grace.
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention. Feel free to join in.
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
Work on NIP: Interesting week. Some weaving together of old with new. Surprises are fun.
Walks: Ooooooh so great. Walked through snowbanks more than knee deep on Friday before the plow came. Magic.
Guitar: Plinkety, Plonkety. Plunk. Love it.
Yoga/Meditation: Not every day – but most days I made it to the floor and did some stretchy stretch.
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT: I was working on the…. time-stretch. Finding the ability to PAUSE in the moment before responding in times of anxiety (mine or someone else’s)
THE RESULT: It helped to be aware. I wasn’t ALWAYS successful but it did work a few times. Awareness is so important and so powerful. Going into the week with this intention really did help it… just rise into my mind in the moment.
breathe… breathe… breathe.
Stroke–glide–glide.
And…the rest of the week…
THE GNARBLY BITS:
– the cold cold coldness and the damp damp dampness can cause this ole bod to ache ache ache. I admit it.
– the plow getting stuck in the yard… always makes me worry that he won’t come back.
AUNTS with amazing hair
– had one of those weeks when all my clothes felt… ugh. And my hair felt double ugh. and I just felt…. well…. let us say HIDEOUS. Urge to PURGE the closet and start again. Close I came to shaving my head to be rid of this scraggly ole witch hair. Lawdy. Actually I wish it was witch hair. Witches have such good hair. Like in Practical Magic… I want THAT HAIR!!! And I want midnight margaritas too!
Luckily the Yule Ritual on Friday really helped with this whole…. mess… of self… loathing. I feel much better now. Honest.
THE TASTY BITS:
+ Marking the solstice/yule with a simple, but fun ritual involving doodles, words, the warmth of fire and some home made bread. YUM. Oh truly and truly a lovely time spent and a shift FELT. Here is to creativity and beauty and growth in the coming year.
+ Gathering with family and friends to hoist a drink, eat some food and tell some stories.
+ Appreciating a friend’s generosity and LOVING his spanky new bathtub. Oh the luxury!!!! Thank you, man of the fires, for letting us stay in your lovely home while you are away and make use of all the wonderful treats like the bath and cable and netflix and… oh right… I’m supposed to be visiting family, not hunkered down with the TV (don’t tellllll on me).
+ Seeing the smile on MiL’s face when her daughter arrived for the holidays. Oh it warmed my heart. Welcome home, Sis!
+ Walks and talks and planning surprises for the 25th.
+ Finding a lovely handmade shawl of the softest green that I had hidden away “for special”. Pulled it out to wear during my Yule ritual and have decided to wear it daily through the holidays. Bright blessings of gratitude to K and her magic fingers. Thank you for this bit of glory to wrap around me.
+ I have such a great great sense of well being today. Grateful for this place, these people, this wood stove, for Tippy the Typer and the Scrib. For pinon incense and the magic of being to reach a friend in Paris with some love when I really NEEDED too (yay interweeb)!
And finally – a hard but good thing…
On Saturday Dec 22nd, we will gather to say our farewells to a dear friend. It will be good to gather and to hear stories of his life in, I believe, one of the places he most loved to spend time in.
May his family find comfort in knowing that he was well loved by so many of us.
I offer up a tip of the Stetson to you, Friend.
Happy trails.
NEXT WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
A simple one… and a hard one… I will focus on staying present. To be with family and friends as we gather together.
That’s it for me….
Thanks for stopping by.
Sending bright blessings to you all.
May you find comfort and joy this holiday season.
go easy -p
A Simple Yule/Solstice Ritual
We moved here for many reasons.
One of the things that drew me was the desire to watch the wheel of the year turn from this particular spot on the earth.
I have been in motion most of my life.
We moved a lot when I was a kid and I continued the pattern into adulthood. Shifting. Moving. Exploring. Happiest in motion, to tell the truth. Nothing so wonderful and calming as the sound of wheels on pavement, the sway of a train or the dip and rise of a slow boat to… somewhere else.
It has been good for me – this motion. It has carried me to places I never dreamed of.
It has also been good for me to come here. To stop here for a time. On this river. With these people.
I am so blessed to be here.
I can feel my energy returning. I was … depleted for stretch. After the book came out. After the surgery.
This place is helping me heal.
We let go of the oddest things when we get tired. Some of us let go of the very things that will help carry us through. I’m not sure why we do that.
The good news is that we can reclaim these things when we wake up and realize that they have slipped away.
One of the things I find myself reclaiming this year is – the desire to mark the turning of the wheel with small rituals. I fell out of the habit somewhere along the line. Didn’t have “the right space” or “couldn’t find the time.” Whatever my reasons… I miss the rituals and I’ve decided to… begin again.
I will mark the winter solstice with a simple Yule ritual to welcome back the sun and to mark my personal exit of 2012 and welcome 2013.
The core of the ritual can be adapted to any belief system and range from the simple to the elaborate. You can cast a circle and call the directions to enter your sacred space – or you can just sit and breathe and centre yourself. You can do it outside, in a special room, or at your kitchen table. All you really need is quiet, a pen and paper, a candle (make it yellow if you like but anything will do), a match or lighter to light the candle and a fire proof bowl/container to burn the paper in.
At its heart this ritual is a way to mark the return of the sun by releasing… a habit, a mindset, or something that we feel has been holding us back or hurting us in the past year and welcoming in something new. Invoking a new intention perhaps. It can be as wide sweeping as say, letting go of FEAR and welcoming ABUNDANCE. You can write two words or two thousand – whatever works for you.
Here it is in a nutshell. You can also grab a pdf version here.
A Simple Yule/Solstice Ritual To mark the Returning of the Sun Release/Replenish o Enter the sacred o Connect to the divine o Light a candle to welcome the returning sun o Write down what you would like to release from the past year o Write down what you would like to welcome in for the coming year o Take some time to hold this knowledge within your body and feel the shift - from emptying out and letting go of that which you would like to move on from - to replenishing and welcoming something new in o Burn the paper – releasing the old and sending your intention for the new year out into the world o Ground yourself and the power raised o Return to the everyday
I send you bright blessings for the holiday season and wishes for a fabulous 2013.
Be well, my friends.
Go easy -p
Shake and Bake 11: The “Let Us All Hum” Edition
Wherein Pam sings the praises of doodling, bemoans her own humanity and promises to hum us all through the darkest week…
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention. Feel free to join in.
A week… a week…
another super fast week.
Twas good.
On the whole.
I think.
Let’s see….
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
Work on NIP: Some up. Some down. But steady ahead.
Walks: Glorious. Sparkly and lush with cold.
Guitar: not much boom-chiKA-boom-chiKA but some boom boom boom boom. Again steady as she goes.
Yoga/Meditation: deLISH!
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT: to give Pree the Purple guitar some loving attention.
THE RESULT: better than last week but… still no singing…what is UP with that????
And…the rest of the week…
THE BIG SADS:
– sad, so sad, so heartsore sad to have lost a friend to the dreaded C. May your spirit soar, Sir – away from this earthly plane and on into… the next.
– and… Connecticut… no words for that but a simple prayer…. “heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds”
THE GNARBLY BITS:
– mphtty rrmmphtty hard HARD start to the writing week. words not coming… lost wanderings around in the NIP thinking… “what the HECK am I trying to DO here?”
– not being the … beacon of calm and compassion I dream of being. Meaning… snapping at someone and then feeling like a huge pile of crappola for said snapping.
– feeling like I should be some sort of island of calm that people can land on – and proceed to stomp all over – grrrrrrr! – no…no… no stomping . But I do feel that I SHOULD be calmer and I SHOULD be more compassionate and …
– I still BURY myself in these stoopid SHOULDS. sigh.
– and the return of the “I need to”. I hear myself say this all day long… and write it in the scrib… I need to do this…I need to do that… “YERK,” I say. “Stop with the “need to” and the “should” and the whole kit and kabootle!!”
THE TASTY BITS:
+ sticking WITH the writing and finding my way through to Joy Joy JOY again by Thursday and Friday.
++ the realization that even when things don’t seem to be going well, doing my “Writing Hours” is working at keeping the DREADS away. It’s like magic. Huzzah! I can actually just… walk away and let it go after I’ve done my hours. I can enjoy the rest of the day without that awful awful… feeling of… abject FAILURE I used to drag around all the time. I never felt like I was working “hard enough”. Working these hours every day, faithfully, has lifted that and freed me up soooo much.
+ the morning routine/rituals are really working for me. love love love it!
+ walks in the snow.
+ having time for walks in the snow.
+ taking a rest hour on the couch. Not a real nap… but a relax at least. managed a few this week and ahhhhh — feels soooo good.
+ morning waking warm abed. YUM.
+ doodling. I stopped by a friend’s blog and was admiring her doodles. They got me scratching away in the scrib-book again VISUALLY. I love it. This blog also has some wise wise words that warmed my heart on a gloomy day. Much thanks and gratitude to the fierce and lovely Fionncara.
I think I would like to doodle more, doodle each day. Heh heh. Oh heck ya, Pam – add another thing.
I might… but listen up Gentle Reader — you know that these things I add must not become truly… regimented. They are ways of playing in the world and I need to do this – play more – see these things as play – yes and then and also I must play in my work – the work I am here to do. Which is the writing.
We are all here to do something. This is one of the truths I hold to.
One of the hard things is finding our way to that work and keeping strong enough to DO it. May we all find our way.
NEXT WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
I would like to work on the…. time-stretch. Finding the ability to PAUSE in the moment and take a breath in times of hurry or anxiety. Mostly as a way to respond from a thoughtful gentle place instead of simply REACTING to certain things.
OK folks…that’s it for me….
I hope your week was full of glory …
Thanks for stopping by.
Have some FUN this week!
I shall hum us all through (feel free to join in)
It is the darkest week of the year…but don’t let it get you down. After all… the world could hit TILT next week. OR We could all just be celebrating the return of the sun.
Hope to see you here next Saturday. Hmmmmm hm hmmmm hmm hmmmmmm…
go easy -p
POV: So much depends upon…
who it is that is looking at that red wheelbarrow… or that red suitcase.
And who tells the story.
Ahh how the world shifts depending on where we are standing, whose eyes we are looking through and who it is that steps forward to speak.
I got a question, via email, a while ago about Point of View. The question was from a student who was reading Mostly Happy for school and was writing an essay about the book. She wanted to know why I wrote the novel in first person instead of third person.
I also had a wee discussion about this very thing over at Marlene Luneng’s blog.
Those of you who’ve read Mostly Happy, know that each chapter is focused around an item from Bean’s collection of treasures that moves from a shoebox to the red Samsonite suitcase. Bean starts the collection early on and keeps gathering things throughout her life. They help her remember things and they help keep her sane.
I kept all my treasures in a shoebox, so I knew where they were and they never got left behind when we moved. I had to be choosy though. Prissy said she didn’t wanna live with no damned pack-rat.
Me and Prissy traveled light.
When I was writing the book I was able to hop from object to object and blurt out (or let Bean blurt out ) the … story… behind the object. The bit of her life that it captured and WHY it was in the suitcase.
The “bits” came out in many different styles – some things were in 1st person and some in 3rd. I let them come out however they wanted. I knew I had to just… keep working… bit by bit by bit…. item by item… I had to follow this girl and get her story down.
We did this for a long while, Bean and I.
Finally, feeling myself nearing something close to all the bits needed for a true first draft, I decided that it was time to choose a POV. I took a pause and read the bits over. I fiddled here and there with some rewrites and then…
I went back to the beginning and wrote the first 100 pages both ways. As well as I could… BOTH WAYS. (This was, of course when I thought there was only 2 possible ways – but more on that later)
Then, one snowy day I rose from bed, showered, and put on my best “professional writer” outfit — meaning pulling out some clean pants and a nice looking shirt and topping it off with a purple blazer thing.
Feeling very professional — especially after months of working in my jim-jams — I packed the pages into my briefcase and trundled off to … the Saskatoon Public Library.
I sat myself down at a table in the corner, pulled out the drafts and a red pen and went over both drafts as though I was the Writer in Residence, trying to support an emerging writer who was struggling with her first novel. First I marked up both drafts with line edits and possible changes. Then I lay them side by side and compared them to decide which version was “best.”
My conclusion?
The first person version had the most … JUICE … and hence – Mostly Happy is written entirely from Bean’s point of view. But boy howdy did I ever find important stuff in the version written from “outside” of Bean.
In the end, I blended the versions — and I proceeded to write every chapter both ways just to see what I could find. In truth, I can’t swear that I did it with each chapter – but that makes the best story — so let’s go with that. It truly was worth the effort for me. I was learning how to write fiction. It was a whole new ball of wax for me.
To add to the fun, there was also the discovery that I needed to figure out where and WHEN exactly Bean was speaking from. Was she the little kid, growing up through the book? Or was she an adult looking back?
I worked very very hard to do something that… hopefully goes mostly unnoticed by readers.
To me, Bean tells the story from just beyond the events she is speaking about.
For a time, I had a few different Beans – say 10 years old, 15, 23 and 30 (I can’t remember exactly what it was). Then, they began to loosen up and now…
Well… I need to read the book again and see if I hit what I aimed for but what I WANTED was for her to be just a bit ahead of what was happening. Not too far. She couldn’t have too much knowledge of things that were still to come. I wanted us all along for the ride WITH HER as it happened, but I still wanted her to be telling us the story… so she had to keep just a bit ahead of us… but not too far.
I also wanted her voice to evolve as the novel progressed. She picks things up, our Bean does. Her vocabulary and her very way of speaking shifts depending on where she is and who she is hanging out with.
Oh I tried to do show so much with Bean’s voice…
No WONDER it took me six years to write Mostly Happy, eh? I wrote it twice.
I wrote it way more than twice, to be honest.
I’ll do a post about the wonderful world of revisions… some day.
These days, I am struggling with a whole different beast.
In the NIP, I am working with a third person POV that is more like what James Wood calls “the free, indirect style” in his book How Fiction Works. I haven’t read Woods’ book yet – but it sounds intriguing. I read about it and “the free, indirect style” in a post over on Susan Swan’s blog.
It’s a bit of a slippery POV for me, as it seems to be moving, I hope seamlessly, from person to person. It remains a third person point of view but it is CLOSE UP to the characters. It also has to do with… the psychic distance between the reader and the characters.
I’ve been thinking about (and noticing) point of view and VOICE quite a bit this month. I’ve been experimenting as I work through scenes in the new novel. I’ve slowed the down the rolling ball of words. Shifting from the headlong rush of last month to a more… thoughtful mode of working. Allowing myself to to take some time to play with different variations in the Point of View.
Once again, there will be much work to be done in the revisions, I’m sure.
Wish me luck!
By the way… I still have the purple blazer thing and often wear it to EDIT – like in the pic above — where I am at work on one of my 3day novels. [NOTE: I’m still in my jammies but I have the writer coat on!]
And for the Williams Carlos Williams fans… Here he is reading “The Red Wheelbarrow”
Happy trails, my friends.
go easy -p
in case the world is ending…
or shifting
or taking a leap
on the 21st…
i’ve decided to take more walks
and watch the play of sunshine on the snow
in this place i find myself
it seems a sane thing to do.
go easy -p
Shake and Bake 10: The Flying Carp Edition
If you have read the Flying Troutmans by Miriam Toews, and can unscramble the word CARP into something… a little less appealing…. you know whereof I speak.
If you haven’t read The Flying Troutmans – go find it. It will brighten your week.
Happy Saturday to lovers of the Friendly Giant – and everyone else!
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention. Feel free to join in.
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
Work on NIP: Steady on… strange she goes.
Walks: Remaining glorious. Even in heavy boots
Guitar: Oh woe…oh woe are we….
Yoga/Meditation: Hey, ya, good.
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT: Learn a song on the guitar.
THE RESULT: A head hanging admission that not only did I not learn a song, but I didn’t even PICK UP Pree. I hereby call for… a do over…
And…the rest of the week…
THE GNARBLY BITS:
– Oof… it was a hard week… gladly viewed in the rear view. I feel like stopping right here but NOOOOO… I’ll just make it brief – for all our sakes.
– Wave of… sadness [?] doubling up with exhaustion[?], with a physical feeling bordering on the flu [maybe?] and a soupçon of self-doubt sent me back to bed Tuesday morning and I did not leave said bed til around noon on Wednesday.
THE TASTY BITS:
+ I got up out of that bed and … began again. Got back on track with the work and the world. This is good. This is… superb. Yay. Lesson is…. don’t let it KEEP you down. OK. Merci for that.
+ Spending an evening out with friends. A lovely close the week. Good company, great food, some homemade wine and sauna fun. This leaves me with a smile today. Much appreciated.
+ Watching M roll around in the snow with a great huge fluffy puppy. Now that’s a sight to warm the coldest heart.
NEXT WEEK’S EXPERIMENT: See last week’s experiment 😉
Hopefully Pree and I will find our way together this week.
….boom chick-a boom chick-a…
That’s it for me….
I hope your week was light on the carp and loaded with giggles …
Thanks for stopping by.
go easy -p
Places I read
some places i hang out
Pam Bustin 