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“Ay cannae hold her captain, she’s breaking up!”

wherein Pam confesses that she seems to be STILL piling too much on and reins it back to reaching for gentle growth

Shake and Bake (Rock Carving Arizona - p.bustin 2004)

Happy Saturday, to all my wild and lovely readers!

In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention. Feel free to join in.

THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
To TURN OFF the TYPER MACHINE by 7pm each day
– except Monday when I watched episode 4 of The Compassionate Brain from 8-9pm.
AND…. to have one day entirely FREE of said machine.

THE RESULT:
Epic FAIL.
Well no… not epic. I DID manage to turn off said TYPER MACHINE by 7pm four days out of seven.
But boy howdy – I turned directly to the TV AND to … eating and eating and EATING. Yoik.

And on Wednesday I totally had an online tv binge late into the night.

Anyone else think I’m … maybe… avoiding something????

The Quick Chicken:

Work on NIP: Groovy scary week. Made the shift on Thursday into the BwaB (book within a book). Having a TAD of worry around whether this whole Bwab focus is a good idea. (see below)

Walks – Loving them! Didn’t walk on the stormy days, but every other day I was bundled up and out the door right after my Writing Hours were done. Woot…I say WOOT WOOT!

Guitar – missed two days again – boo hiss! Shifted the TIME I do it and… it is feeling like a good fit. Now… if I could just get that third finger closer to the fret on the Dm…

Yoga/Meditation – Oh I hang my head in… no…there will be no shame…but oh it would be really lovely if I could find my way to the mat on a more … regular basis.

And…the rest of the week…

THE GNARBLY BITS:
– recognizing how hard it is for me to TURN off the outside STUFF.
Meaning, this week – the typer and the tv.

I have a bit of a clue why this happened.

I’ve begun working with Julia Cameron’s book The Vein of Gold. The first task of the book is to write a Narrative Timeline. Basically – the ole life story. I just did NOT want to do this. Too huge. Too scary. Too damned “been there done that and had the fight with my family already – thanks.”

ooof – right?

So, I found myself…

– Resisting HUGELY the VERY idea of doing this.

The good news is… I didn’t spiral into self hate over it.
I just… sat with it for awhile once I managed to pry myself from the TYPER and shut off the TV.
I set my timer and said… just a 1/2 hour… just one hour…

Kept at it – GENTLY and managed to work through it but…Oh my friends, it was hard hard hard.

– Trusting my self and my process was hard this week – even though things are actually going pretty well, in fact… AWESOMELY well on the work front.

I still doubt myself.
sigh.

Any “small waves from afar” to cheer me on are much welcome.

I spent a good deal of time this week gnawing on a book that has… appeared in the novel. It is mentioned in a few places and it seems to be looming larger and larger for Izzy (the gal who started this whole adventure rolling). She reads the book and thereby gains insights into the town she finds herself in and the people who founded it (some of whom are blood tied to characters living in her world today).

NaNoWriMo Web BadgeAs many of you no doubt know… November is NaNoWriMo time – that’s National Novel Writing Month for those who like it longform.

I got to thinking maybe I should WRITE this BwaB instead of just … referring to bits as Izzy reads it.

I don’t imagine that the BwaB will be included, intact, in the book.
But I have decided that I do need to write it – if only to allow Izzy (and mySelf) to read the darned thing!

So… I’ve stepped out of the current world of the NIP to write the BwaB. And I’m doing it as part of NaNoWriMo. For .. the company, maybe 😉

My worry is that I will lose the flow and forward momentum of the REAL book.
My hope and belief is that this will deepen the story. It will provide historical background for this new world and the people who inhabit it.

We’ll see how it goes.

OK – on with the week…

THE TASTY BITS:

+ All friends surviving the onslaught of SuperStorm Sandy intact. Some minor damage to homes and yards but all humans, pets and wine sellars (and cellars) safe and healthy.

+ Celebrating another week of rising early.

This is really helping with the shift into seeing Time as … more abundant. Uh…maybe because…it is (she giggles).

I allow myself a bit of a lie-in on weekends.
This is helping too. 5 is easier than 7.
This is week three – and all is well.

I think maybe it is more about… doing what really does feel good.
If I stay in bed “too late” I feel behind the eight ball right off the hop. Rising up early gives me time and space to … have more time and space.

It really is a no-brainer, but it has taken me a long while to actually put it into action.

+ Finding a sort of fun way to ease myself into a new Gratitude ritual.
It’s an online research type of thing. 14 days of gratitude at THNX4.org I’m digging it.

For some reason it has always been easier for me to do things for OTHERS. I signed up to help with the research.

What shifts if you say “thank you” each day for … something or someone…
What happens if you begin to recognize and soak it in when someone says Thank-you for something you have done during the day?
What happens if you SHARE this with others?

We’ll see.

+ Allowing rituals to form organically instead of trying to force them.
By rituals I mean things like…
this weekly check in…
my walks…
guitar practice…
and, most importantly – the Writing Hours.

It’s been a good week.

NEXT WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
Allowing myself to carry on – exploring rhythms and finding my way.
Nothing NEW piled on. Just a desire to NOTICE how it feels as I move through my days.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Feel free to share a Shake & Bake of your own.

Or let me know what you are experimenting with this week..

Thanks for stopping by.

go easy -p

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