It’s true… This is # 52 in the wacky world of Shaking and Baking.
How time flies.
It’s # 52 and it’s a New Moon. A great time to review things, look at what worked and what didn’t and make some plans for moving forward.
I’ve been debating whether to continue with the weekly check-in.
If I do continue… what shall I keep and what shall I let go of?
It’s a good question and I think it’s the right time to consider it.
Not only are we at #52 in the S&Bs – we are also nearing Samhain (October 31st). The dark half of the winter is about to begin.
I plan to use this month – this moon – to shift a few things. Including these Check-ins.
The first shift will be… the timing. Instead of posting each friday, I’m slipping in to a schedule that marks the New Moon, 1st Quarter, Full Moon and Last Quarter. My thinking is that this will help me in my quest to pay more attention to the cycling of the Moon and the shifting of my own energies in relation to the Moon.
We’ll see how it goes.
LET the REVIEW begin!
Let’s take a look at the … nuts and bolts of the S&B’s as they evolved this year.
These began pretty early on.
Here are the STATS for this last “round” –
Scrib – 203
Walk – 141
Yoga – 71
Meditation – 113
Writing Hours – 137
and sad ole Guitar playing – 46 (stopped tracking 6 weeks ago)
The most noticable SAGS in the doings happened over the Christmas Holidays and in the high heat of Summer – surprise surprise. There was a dip and then a feeling of immense guilt and pressure and then – STRAIGHT OUT REBELLION and a declaration of a BREAK needed and after 2 weeks of not tracking (or much DOing) I came back to them.
The evolution of the Doings into my Morning Rituals has been rocky but rather organic. It is how it works best (right now).
SWYM ~ WH.
These days…on the “best mornings”
When the alarm goes off I fight my way out of the warm bed (as quickly as I can)
I turn on the coffee or the kettle for a hot drink of some sort.
I get the fire going (not quite every day yet)
I get my drink and some kind of hand food (easy to eat – fruit/nuts/toast)
I climb in the bunk and do my Scrib.
I keep the fire going.
I go for a Walk.
I do yoga and a short meditation.
I grab another snack and head into the Work Hours.
I emerge and make lunch.
And I feel like a WINNAH!
If I am derailed by… not getting out of the warm bed. It is a sad day. Heh heh. But I still get SOME of my Morning Ritual done. It just takes me later and later into the day to get the Doings Done. Or… I sacrifice something.
If Life Stuff interrupts my Morning Ritual – I try not to sweat it too much. I don’t want to get crazy dogmatic about it all. That way lies… the death of all that is groovy… for sure.
It was way back in Shake and Bake 5: The Dilithium Crystals Edition that I began grappling with the concept of these Doings.
I know that doing these things each day is incredibly important – long term and shorter term. For my well being. My mood. My body. My mind…everything.
I know this and I also know that whipping myself to do them will not help.
That beating myself up on the days I DON’T do them is incredibly UNhelpful.
I was thinking about this on my walk this morning. Thinking, How about instead of feeling shitty when you DON’T go for a walk or do yoga or whatevs…you simply celebrate the times you DO? Is that so fricken hard? Sheesh.
That said… I still have an urge to track it all. And I think this tracking helps me and it was kind of fun to round up the numbers today… so yeah, I will keep this aspect of the S&Bs.
There was a Summertime slump in the WH numbers – serious slumpage. Good to note. Looking at this, I started to wonder if I need / should take a real BREAK from them all together. I kept reading and…
found out that I DID give myself a “break” and shit godDAMN it did not work at all – at all at all. The dreads returned full force and it was shittay.
I did however quite enjoy taking “weekends off” and it could well have proved “more productive” so… there is that. Perhaps the WH can be aimed at 5/7 instead of 7/7?
There is always and always the Scrib – which is usually 1-2 hrs, and now there is the ChickIn ChickOot and the new Night Ravings … so there will still be writing for sure but maybe a 5 day “work week” is bestest. Hmm… considering.
I really enjoyed going back over the Hard Gnarble and the Good n Tasties – just to remember things.
I was thinking of dropping them because…really who gives a rats patootie…but hey… I GIVE A RatPat so there!
And… there really is somekind of magic to it. Thanks again to Havi of fluentself.com ~ wise woman at large ~ for introducing me to this whole idea of weekly Chickens and for deepening my desire for Rituals.
Here’s some things that jumped out:
Tiredness – lack of energy…hmm… started to mention this last November and it keeps cropping up. I have a Doctor now and we’ve been talking about it. When I first went to see her in April I though…ah hell, maybe it is just age and winter and… so on. But truth is it carried on throughout the year, didn’t it? She did some tests back in April, and some more in July. I see her on Wednesday and get some results.
I noted in Shake and Bake 8: The Getting Down with the Dog Edition that I used to have to take a lie down after work each day that I worked at Tamara’s House (A drop in centre for Adult Female survivors of CSA) and that was long long ago. I was able, because of the nature of the job to SEE that I needed a rest each day. I was able to nurture myself. I felt I had “earned it.” through my work.
I also found that I had indeed instituted a “rest hour” for a few weeks in the afternoon last winter. That was quite glorious and part of why rising so early to “get ‘er done” is such a good good thing for me to do. It opens up that hour in the afternoon for…resting.
I have spent the year in search of the right Rhythm for myself. The one that appears to work the best is – Rise Early, do the Doings and then have a nice a day which includes at least an hour in the afternoon to have a lie down with a book. Yummly!
The energy very obviously waxed and waned over the last year.
This is good to know. When I’m tired it feels like I have ALWAYS been tired and WILL always be tired… that isn’t so. It’s right here in fronta me. Useful info for sure.
REFUGE – during a really really low week… I declared REFUGE and just went to bed with a book. I didn’t even stay there all day – but the declaring REFUGE was quite wonderful and I would like to save this concept for future use. There was Refuge in Shake and Bake 20: The Tea and Poetry Edition – the day I decided “to stop pushing the river.”
It was in Shake and Bake 21: The Deep Dark Spark Edition that I realized that this S&B thing…
….is not a report card.
It is simply and profoundly… a noticing.
A celebration of the evolution of this life.
A review for the purpose of… noting that I am indeed nosing ahead on various fronts.
That is all.
There was THIS from Ela in Shake and Bake 27: The Epiphanic Edition :
This is a dangerous time for you.
There is much growth happening below the skin. There is a deep change in motion and you WILL emerge. You are emerging and it is a clear path you seek. A simple path.
Do not get cluttered up. You are doing well and more and more “things” will fall away and what you need will shine clear and come easily to your hand.
You already know these things. You do.
And it is true – this last year I kept piling it on…piling it on… do this do that do this other thing…take this class… read this..listen to that… do was SHE/He/They suggest.
Wouldn’t it be lovely (get the joke?) if this year… I could … take it a bit easier?
Keep it Simple and just… take the time to Do what I know.
To find my own way without adding-adding-adding on anything else from outside.
Just for this year.
There was quite a bit of… stuff I did online this year that was cool and helpful in many ways but that I sometimes forget TOOK ME TIME as well…
The Gratitude Practice over at — THNX4.org
The Compassionate Brain Series
The Awakening Joy Course
The classes at Coursersa: Aboriginal Worldviews (4 weeks) and Know Thyself (6 weeks Philosophy) (and I began a few others but… stopped… just wanting to be outside in the garden instead)
Two “Meditation Challenges” with Deepak and Oprah
These things fed me. But I can get overly… searchy… for more more more info from the outside.
I think, perhaps, I should remain open to opportunities this coming year, but also know that it might be just as fun and useful to sit and listen to Ela and take that hour in the afternoon to lay down.
Remember the tulip…Remember the tulip…
Remember the tulip sleeping below the ground. All that potential for beauty… petals and leaves reaching for the sun.
and this from Shake and Bake 31: The WILD Song Edition:
When you are looking to open to something … remember to “Get away from it” – BY YOURSELF. Take a walk or a swim or a paddle, work in the garden, go to sleep, bake bread, draw, listen to music, meditate, exercise…. You are free… but you are working sideways…. So – and this is important – don’t seek out others… Don’t read yet, or listen to a book, or watch a movie. I’m not sure why music is different… but it is. Don’t make telephone calls or go on facebook or to the ABE forum or seek out COMPANY.
Don’t stuff yourself with the words of others…. stay silent and alone for a while longer.
You don’t have to “think about” the work. In fact, it works best when you don’t directly think about. When you occupy yourself with something else… and let things rise up on their own. It is about drifting…not tugging…not digging… It is about allowing.
Because the words are inside of you. Open a space for them, create an opening. Be patient. The words will come.
The all important shifting of “I need to…” to “now I GET to…”
And the solid body KNOWING OF:
Sit and work and you feel good.
Don’t and you feel sad/scared/double plus not good.
This got refined in Shake and Bake 39: The Drift Away Edition to an even truer version:
GET UP and do the morning ritual and you feel good.
DON’T and you feel double plus not good.
Turns out that I started this whole S&B thang in order…
To see what happens.
To see how things evolve as I continue work on the NIP.
To take a FEW minutes to review the week and REMEMBER what happened.
And to… tell someone.
To write it down. For myself and for anyone else out there who might like to play along.
There has not been much “playing along” – at least not in public. That’s cool. It’s a strange thing to do. I get that.
I was quite quite QUITE afraid to do this weekly thing.
Remember THIS little convo?
Scared ME: Go ahead. Flash all your ugly bits right out there. What do I care if you want to be a big flasher face.
Not so Scared ME: My ugly bits?
Scared ME: Hard things are ugly.
Not so Scared ME: Oh, Sweety. They aren’t ugly. They’re just human.
And so it is.
2 Mothers of friends
2 Close Friends
2 Friends of the Family
… and I have a sneaking suspicion I didn’t record everyone…. blergh…
Turning off the typer by 7pm – this felt pretty good but is hard hard as I also watch TV on here. I think the real urge is to QUELL the …. triple tasking… the watching tv and checking checking checking email/fbook/chats whatever. That way lies the exhaustion.
Going offline and truly have a “Weekend” on Saturday and Sunday? Again this is hard but it was quite rewarding. I think the ticket is actually about REST for me and a rest from my eyes on this screen.
And… yes… there is poor poor neglected Pree the Purple Guitar… head hanging…sigh-o. Once I stopped tracking it… I stopped picking up the poor darlin at all. Will I try again? I really do WANT to. And I know that for ME that means I must carve out a time and do it. Do it. Do it. And the idea of 1/2 hr or so each evening is lovely. But truth is I just did not do it. Just did not. So… I shal think on this as well.
There’s that book – Vein of Gold – that I TOTALLY stopped reading and working through. I’m not sure why. Did I just … lose interest? Or did I think it was eating time and I just didna wanna do it anymore? Or was there…Some other resistance? I pull the book off the shelf and see that I stopped at the task to “create a creative champion” Doesn’t seem to panic me… maybe I just got sidetracked and just … didn’t go back.
There is a strong Desire throughout the year to do “more” with the blog… more than just the weekly check ins. I did a bit more… but this desire lingers. I just can’t seem to put anything into action. YET.
In Shake and Bake 15: The one where it all shifts I decided to review the Scrib each week – This was cool and it lasted a few weeks but it took me a LOT OF TIME. I was doing it on the same day I was trying to write the post for the S&B and it was… frankly… too bleeping much… and started to take longer and longer each week. I was trying to slot things into various files and then when that got out of hand, I tried ONE big file and yes – ok it is typed up now but – to what end? I dunno.
The IDEA of this still appeals. I love writing long hand each morning but I know i make notes in there and then sort of “lose them”… not to be found until I am flipping through looking for a bit for the NIP or something.
Maybe I could start doing some kind of weekly look back again but find an easier/lighter way to do it.
It was FEB 22nd (Shake and Bake 21: The Deep Dark Spark Edition) that I wrote:
“And another idea begins to form…
I long to find my way to a simple set of stories that could be a companion for a year. To carry one through a year. A book you could begin whenever, but that would carry you through the moons of one year.”
LAST FEBRUARY – sheesh!
But yes… I will do it… this year… for myself. I will watch the passing of the moons and see what emerges.
I begin again this week.
With this New Moon I begin to prepare for SAMHAIN and to celebrate it as my own “new year’s eve” and begin again with this following of the moon…
Let’s see how it goes.
It takes me a long time sometimes… but I do find my way to things that seem to work.
Last March I started doing an evening Scrib… lasted a few weeks and then fell away again. But that’s when I began to play with The Daily CHICKENS. Now I do the ChickIn and ChickOot most every day and I’ve started to record a VERY short note each evening in “the 5 year thing” Hmm… AND I’ve been working on prepping the Night Ravings Book – where I plan to play about with scribbles in the dark and moony stuff and ritual and so on…
See… It takes awhile sometimes… but we find our way.
Whew – long post today.
Thanks for checking it out.
Hope your week was grand and that the New Moon brings you fresh intentions and energy to pursue them.
go easy ~p
Kim Fahner's Blog
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