Pam Bustin
creator, editor, story tender
Shake and Bake 23: The Right/Write Track Edition
Hullo Sweeties
How was your week? I hope your winter world is warming (if you are in a winter world). I hope you found some joy and beauty. I hope you are well.
For me… a lil of the up… a lil of the down… and all the time we go round and round.
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
- Walks: 6/7 SupahSTAR!
- Guitar: 0 or not…
- Yoga: 0 so so not…
- Meditation: 4/7 must keeeeeeep reaching…
- Work on NIP: 6/7
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
To Walk… And boy did I walk…. I walked and walked and walked… for between 20 minutes to 3.5 hrs each day.
Except for the day spent mostly in town and hey, I walked while I was in town… but I didn’t count it because… it was in spurts, not one big long walk.
The Result: All goodness flows from the walking. Especially the early morning walking. “Ummana Yummana… good good good!”
And…OK then… If you are such a supahstar ~ how the hell did you end up getting EATEN by the couch yesterday?
What happened to the rest of the week?
THE GNARBLY BITS:
TOP STORY of the week – Sad to hear that Stompin’ Tom Connors shuffled off this mortal coil. He’s a good one and his legacy lives on. Go Canada! Go Canadian Artists who choose to stay in Canada and celebrate our stories! Long may we… survive!- With the melt comes THE MELT – let me not go on about it but… the shaky shack… she needs some work. Nuff said.
- Tooth Hurty… mucho yesterday and today…
- What / Why with this crazy sadness? Frack it already.
SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!
THE TASTY BITS:
- Walking walking walking – even on the days when things looked glum. Even when it feels like… taking medicine. This is good medicine.
- Making plans for a get-away. Wheeee! I dream of… a haircut, and thrift stores, and a bathtub and movies and…. yeah, mostly the bathtub thing.
- Online Class fun.
- Beauty… such beauty in the world, on my walks and sent to me by friends. Some new Shiny Bits will soon be forthcoming.
- A late night delivery of home made cabbage rolls and peroghy…. not to be beat!
- The moving ahead… however slowly… on the NIP. Sometimes… for an hour or so, I still despair but… when I make myself hush and really look at it… I see it growing and I know we are nearing… we are nearing… we are working our way though to a solid draft.
- AND the fantastic-i-ness of capturing a lovely shot of the Last Quarter of Snow
Moon (Hunger Moon) on one of my morning walks. I’ve been working on paying more attention to the world around me with a special focus on the moon. I even managed to begin creating a new workbook of sorts to track the moons for a year (or so). This picture is, even now, making me outstandingly happy for some reason.
What worked? (THE THIng to bake in)
The thing that is leaping out at me today is…. That the only thing I know for sure is that the world is an up and down type of place.
I wrote this in the Scrib this morning…
I feel so … downtrodden this winter. Like I managed to survive last winter with so much more… grace and ease than this winter. I had the job at the hospital. I was tired out ~ physically ~ but was I so sad? I can’t remember. I do remember that when Spring came, the news also came that I was blessed with the ability to work for a year. To focus and WORK on the new book…. and I have been, right? Right. But… This is where it has led me? To downright DEPRESSION? What the what???
Here’s the thing.
I have spent much time looking… inside myself this year.
I have spent much time [editted out some private bizness – see I HAVE private bizness – heh heh]
Yes.And mostly… I have spent the year trying to find my way through this book.
You have found your way through.
You have worked hard.
You have.
You may not feel like it this week but it is true.
The draft is nearing completion.
This is good.Go work more.
That is all.I want it all to come clear. And I want 2 seemingly different things.
1. I want the a-b-c-d-e of a well built, story ~ told clean and clear.
AND
2. I want the wild magic and the deep truth.
I want a straight ahead, satisfying tale.
I want it to have humour and grace.
I don’t know why oh why oh why it takes me so freaking long to write these things.
I want them to come in months instead of YEARS.
But this has been your life, Pam. And this has been, and remains, your way of working.
And it is a good life, is it not?
Yes. It is.
It just means that …
…some days you walk to town and dance for joy on the ice because the work has gone so well.
….and some days you get eaten by the couch.
So it goes.
Next time I might…
Just actually BELIEVE that I’m on the right/write track.
NEXT WEEK’S Playful EXPERIMENT:
A thing I’ve started doing off and on… a short evening Scrib just to round out the day.
What the heck – can’t hurt.
Be well my beauties!
Walk much.
Breathe deep.
Dream of planting seeds.
go easy ~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored.
Shake and Bake 22: The Drudgeface Edition (a PatheticPam Joint)
I So don’t want to be here.
Not here, as in on the beautiful bay but… yeah, sometimes that too.
Not here, as in on this earth but… well it do get tiring now and again don’t it. I cannot tell a lie.
But mostly… today… I mean here on this blogthing.
Why? Well… because I don’t feel like “checking in” I feel like the week was so full of suckage that I don’t even want to look to look at it. Not real, painful suckage. Just… boring… mediocrity…
A week where PatheticPam ruled the universe!
Oof.
I hate her. I can’t even say I hate her with a passion ~ because one of her powers is sucking all the passion OUT of me. Out of everything. Making every f’ing thing a bore, a drag, a drudge. I am a drudge. I am a drudgeface. That is all. Goodbye.
No. I am just…
I dunno.
I just want to go now and watch tv online. Maybe some Dr. Who or something. Maybe plug in some Firefly or watch Serenity again. Maybe Just do the dishes.
I dunno.
Oh for crying in the sink. Just DO this, Bustin. It’s not that freaking hard and it doesn’t have to be a huge deal. Just DO it.
Fine.
Doing it.
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
- Walks: 1? Maybe? Could this be a clue?
- Guitar: 0 Mmm hmm.
- Yoga/Meditation: 2/7 – so cold so cold so what you are a suckypants!
- Work on NIP: Fell down fell down fell down. 3/5
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
Did I have one? Uhh… NO. ahhh… could this be another clue?
The Result: PatheticPam took over your HEAD and your BODY and your freaking SOUL.
And…OK then… how the hell did the the rest of the week go?
What worked? (THE THIng to bake in)
Umm… something must’ve worked, right? I’m still HERE right? The world has not collapsed or anything.
Um… birthday brunch worked. Yeah. That SO worked. Yesterday we took my MiL out for her birthday. She is 84. She had a lot of fun and took dessert home for later.
There’s a thing to do.
Take dessert home for later. Heh heh.
AND… another thing that worked was “declaring REFUGE!” in the middle of this gawdforsaken week and taking to my bed with a book for a few hours. I thought it would be all day, but I ended up rising up, working out my second class assignment and drafting up an application for a Writer’s Retreat. YAY for Refuge!
Next time I might…
Take a dessert for myself as well.
AND… declare “Refuge!” earlier.
THE GNARBLY BITS:
- the cold
- the wind
- the cold
- the wind
- the c…. ok ok …
- the dreads about dollars
- the dreads about failure
- the dready dready dread dreads (and YES i understand why the dreads have reared their ugly heads – it’s because I fell down fell down fell down. I KNOW IT. sigh.)
- this horrible feeling that it is all just… stupid. This blog, the work, the … good lord ~ give that girl a SHAKE will ya?
SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!
THE TASTY BITS:
- The class I’m taking. It’s fun. I’m enjoying the resources to read and listen to and watch. The forum is hard to really get into discussions on. Maybe I need to try harder. It’s time consuming as there is no way to filter things so you can zero in on a convo. You basically have to subscribe to the entire thread via your email and then…. a bazillion emails and… the wading through them makes me a bit cranky. Maybe I just need to … find a better way.
- Chatting with friends on email. This is good.
- Chatting with my sweet Raggedy Man and having him here with me to love up and to love me up = lifesaving.
- Completing 2 assignments for class.
- Pulling together an application for a short residency in Saskatchewan.
- best moose meatloaf EVAH!
- Taking MiL out for brunchy (as stated above but bears repeating)
- Changing the blog…ever so slightly… finally
- And…. doing THIS – it really does … work… (“well…surprise surprise, surprise!” says SnarkyPam) I feel much better, even just doing this quickly… without the usual snoop through the Scrib. That Havi Brooks is surely onto something 😉
NEXT WEEK’S Playful EXPERIMENT:
Take a walk, girl. Take a walk take a walk take a walk.
Okey dokey, Smokies. I’m out.
I shall leave you with a lil Dr. Suess who was born on this day!
Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
go easy ~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Feel free to join in – leave in a comment – shake it – bake it – drive a stake in it.
Shake and Bake 21: The Deep Dark Spark Edition
Hey all.
February … continues…
If you haven’t noticed, It’s been a rather … hard month for me up here at the shaky shake. But it has also been a good month.
There is much to be found in the deep dark. If, as a good friend reminded me, you trust that you will find your way and re-emerge into the light bearing treasures.
I’ve been pondering the… usefulness of these weekly check ins (chickens!). Sometimes I think they are… silly… and yet…There is something in them that… soothes my passage.
I like the ritual of reviewing the week.
I am still seeking the proper/most comfortable/most EASEfull way to do this – for me.
A few weeks ago, I began going through the SCRIB each Friday after finishing my Writing Hours and marking things. Typing things in to various folders/files/docs on Tippy the Typer. Sorting. Storing. Turning the stones over in my hands.
The past couple of weeks – I’ve just gone through and typed the STAND OUT bits into one doc – bits of which can later be copied out into the “place they belong”.
This review takes me a while.
But it’s good.
I think.
So far, the biggest thing I’ve noticed is that I often think things are worse than they really are. That I am lazier than I really am. That I have DONE far less than I have actually done. That I just sat here and did NOTHING for an entire week, when, in fact, all manner of things went on. Cool things. Good things. Hard things too.
Luckily MOST of it gets captured somehow – often sideways or on the fly – in the Scrib.
I’ve realized that a small miracle has occurred and I believe that this blog and the Shake and Bakes are part of the magic.
Here’s what I’ve learned about the Shake and Bake…
It is not a report card.
It is simply and profoundly… a noticing.
A celebration of the evolution of this life.
A review for the purpose of… noting that I am indeed nosing ahead on various fronts.
That is all.
Staying grounded. Full of grace. We move through the days with ease. We move forward, always. With ease. Hard work, consistent work, and ease.
A time of deep exploring began for me last April, when I settled in to work on this new book.
Exploring the work.
Exploring my purpose – as a writer, a woman, a human on the earth in these times.
And ~ in a big way ~ exploring the rhythms of life here on the Bay.
How fabulous it is.
Having had a taste of living here and writing everyday I realize that I do indeed love it! And it is what I want to do ~ for a good long while yet.
The miracle is…
I have found the happy making rhythm. For me.
That is huge, right?
I love waking early and coming to the Scrib.
I love the yoga/med ritual I’ve established
I love love LOVE the writing hours (and need them)
I love the walking and noticing the world… the land, the sky, the animals
I continue work on:
- Eating better / more often / earlier in the day.
- Evenings…. getting myself away from the tech and picking up Pree to plunk out a tune, or a book to explore, or simply sitting and chatting with my lovely raggedy man.
I am listening to the body ~ this body – my body ~ and when my body needs rest, I am allowing it. Embracing it, even.
I have not gotten sick this winter. That in itself is another small miracle.
The best days, weeks, months, are when all the DOINGS come together. This is clear.
The waking, walking, writing. The yoga meditation and guitar. The making and eating of food.
These DOINGS are all nurturing things.
Even the 2 hours of “WORK TIME” is entirely nourishing. The 2 hour FOCUSSED container works for me. It is doable and I get enough done in that focussed time to keep the dreads at bay and to visibly see the NIP grow. This is so good. I can’t even tell you how the dreads crippled me – for years.
These things are all a part of growing into …. (be careful, this is where we may tip off the deep end into truly hippy-dip stuff)… the wise old crone that I would become. I call her Ela. As in I am Pam ~ she is Ela. Together we are Pamela. (told you it was hippy dip)
The doings are all connected with being in the now. Accepting.
Opening.
Ease.
And flexibility too.
Like… “Go walk now, while the sun is out… When you come back, you will do the Work Hours because this has become the natural rhythm of your day. You will do it because it is simply… what you do, each day.”
The doings are no longer chores.
They are the natural rhythms of my day.
How friggin’ miraculous is THAT???
OK – enough with the hippy dip.
Down to the nitty grit.
Work wise this week:
There were ups and downs, as always.
I do believe that a first draft must sprawl and reach and embrace the zig zag. It must roar out of us all a rush…. mostly.
I fear that with this one ~ the bones of the first skeleton are still hemming me in. Twisting things. Stopping the flow.
I don’t know.
I only know… there is something… not… here… yet.
Sometimes the workmanlike days are the most soothing. The days spent transferring notes from the Scrib or from the margins of the hard copy into the typer. Word by word. Change by change. The world forms under my hands. These are good days.
The soaring days are good too. But they are also… scary. And always, the fear is that I won’t be able to stay aloft.
Better, sometimes, to work down here in the mud.
And by the end of the week… a gift floated down or rose up. A bit of clarity. Huzzah!
But still….there remains a big big question and I do not have the answer.
And so… the plan is to … back up back up back up…
and take another run at it.
Here’s the thing that needs sticking…
Around the books… the poetry… the plays… the work… is always the life lived. And, of course it is this life that feeds the work.
This seems so simple and yet… it strikes me deeply.
I would be a writer who brings this life into the work.
I don’t mean the details of this or that, but… I mean…
I would write more than … just… entertainments.
I would have them be… guidebooks, maps…
Companions.
Yes. That’s it.
That is what a really good story is.
A companion ~ who stays with us.
I will find my way through.
Day by day and the book will come.
I long for poetry – for myself.
And another idea begins to form…
I long to find my way to a simple set of stories that could be a companion for a year. To carry one through a year. A book you could begin whenever, but that would carry you through the moons of one year.
So, I will do it… this year… for myself. I will watch the passing of the moons and see what emerges.
I will follow this for myself this year.
And if it is worth sharing
who knows.
I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks for stopping by.
Enjoy the weekend and don’t forget – the moon will shine full on Monday. Don’t forget to look up.
Go easy ~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention. Feel free to join in – leave in a comment – shake it – bake it – drive a stake in it.
Liked this one? You might also like to check out…
- The SCRIB… How Scribbling Every Morning Helps Every Thing (pambustin.com)
Snow Moon… Hunger Moon
February… time of the Snow Moon. The Hunger Moon.
The moon that can get me down if I let it.
Time to strap on the snow shoes and venture out.
Don’t stay inside.
Seek the wild.
Find the beauty.
It’s OK….
Spring is coming….
And… if you really need it… here’s some Dar Williams. She’ll break your icy heart wide open.
Go easy ~p
21 days of Meditation – with Deepak Chopra and Ms Oprah herself
While we are on the topic of slowing down…
I wanted to share this opportunity with you.
It is a 21 day meditation “challenge” being offered by Oprah and Deepak Chopra.
I’ve been signing up for a lot of things lately.
Trying to keep myself in balance and not take on TOO much, but this one feels like a fabulous fit.
It will help support me in my ongoing daily practice. So it isn’t really ANOTHER NEW THING. Right?
Here’s the details in case you want to check it out.
Oprah’s Lifeclass and The Chopra Center 21-Day Meditation Challenge—Perfect Health is a free, three-week online interactive meditation experience designed to share the gifts of meditation with you in a fun and easy way.
The digital program includes:
- Daily welcome from Oprah Winfrey
Daily guided meditations by Deepak Chopra
Inspirational messages, images, and centering thoughts
Sanskrit mantras and their meanings
Daily reflection questions with a private, online journal to save responses and additional notes
Mindful Moments – daily takeaways showing you how to incorporate daily lessons into your life right now
You can sign up over HERE
go easy ~p
Shake and Bake 20: The Tea and Poetry Edition
There come the days when you just have to stop.
stop pushing the river
and sit and listen instead.
be still.
stop all the doings and the desire for doings and
be still.
This is that week.
And this?
This is a day for tea and poetry.
and maybe a little Van
cuz that can never hurt.
be well ~p
Shake and Bake 19: The Pickin’ Lickin’ Edition
Time for the Saturday Chicken/Check-in Ritual.
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
Walks: 5/7
Guitar: 6/7 – woot and a woot and a woot woot woot!
Yoga: 2/7
Meditation: 4/7
Work on NIP: 5/5 ++ (I do Writing Hours Mon-Fri and bibs and bobs on the weekends)
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT: Guitar – Keep PICKING IT UP!
THE RESULT: Feeling good. Callouses returning. Strumming…. strumming… learning to strum.
And…the rest of the week…
THE GNARBLY BITS:
– Still so cold… I dream of summer. Or just -10C.
– Doubt about the book… about where it is going, how it will all end, what the FRIGGEN “point” of it all is.
– The money worries are creeeeeeping back in the dark time of the night..
SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!
THE TASTY BITS:
+ Friends. Good friends stopping by, hanging out.
+ Walks. Best walks. Best if I walk.
+ Silence – out on the river, here in our home. Silence and space to think and dream.
+ Books – such good good books I’ve been reading. A balance of “fun” and “sorta serious” stuff. Oh I could just curl up for the rest of this winter with a book or seven.
+ Guitar time.
+ Free online courses. Signed up for 3 MooCs (massive open online courses) this week ~ Aboriginal Worldviews and Education (University of Toronto – Feb 4 weeks), Know Thyself (University of Virginia – Mar 10 weeks) and Why We Need Psychology (University of London – June 6 weeks). Get the ole brainbox working again.
+ Also doing the Awakening Joy Course. Yummmmm.
What worked? (THE THIng to bake in)
Stopping to take in the good in the moment it is happening.
Imagining.
Resting.
Reading.
Staring.
Sitting in silence.
Next time I might…
Allow even more.
Absorb even more.
Soak in the goodness.
NEXT WEEK’S Playful EXPERIMENT:
Food. Awareness of food. I’ve started “forgetting to eat” again. Moving into my days without any food in the belly.
Why is it that we KNOW things and we still can’t seem to DO them? Ooof.
This week I would like to …
notice what I’m eating, when I’m eating, and … ENJOY the eating.
Yeah. That’s it.
Happy trails to you all.
I’m off to take some soup to my pal who is out fishing in front of the Shaky Shack. She arrived on her own on a snow machine this morning, cut two holes and started fishing. It was -32C when she got here.
If any of you had good connections with the Pike in the area, send her a big fish. She could win 10, 000.00 in the Chapleau Fishing Derby!!!!!
Go D!!!!
go easy ~p
Comments are welcome and cherished around here. Drop a line. Let me know how your week went. Or how you’d like NEXT WEEK to go. Enjoy the unfolding.
Women Who Kick #4 – Joan Foster (Lady Oracle)
Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood
Shit. I’d danced right through the broken glass, in my bare feet too. Some butterfly. I limped into the main room, trailing bloody footprints and looking for a towel. I washed my feet in the bathtub, the soles looked as if they’d been minced. The real red shoes, the feet punished for dancing. You could dance, or you could have the love of a good man. But you were afraid to dance, because you had this unnatural fear that if you danced they’d cut your feet off so you wouldn’t be able to dance. Finally you overcame your fear and danced, and they cut your feet off. The good man went away too, because you wanted to dance.
But I chose the love. I wanted the good man; why wasn’t that the right choice? I was never a dancing girl anyway. A bear in an arena only appears to dance, really it’s on it’s hind legs trying to avoid the arrows.
Tasty, no?
So says Joan Foster the main character in Margaret Atwood’s Lady Oracle. A woman who, in her own words, planned her death much more carefully than she planned her life.
I have a lot of Atwood on the shelves here at the Shaky Shack and I finally decided it was time to take one out for a spin. I thought I had read this one before but it didn’t take long for me to realize that I hadn’t. I’ve just been … carrying it around for a long time. I do that sometimes.
I’m a firm believer in the “right time” to read a book. Not all books. Some books can just be chomped down on any old time, lips licked and on we go. They can be read on the run, between bus stops, standing in line, just before we drift off to sleep. I like some of those books. I also like books that are a bit…. heftier and seem to call out for a longer, quieter stretch. This one felt like that.
I picked it up on a snowy blowy night when the thermometer dipped below -30C. I made some tea, topped it off with some baileys and curled up by the fire.
I forget, sometimes, how witty Atwood is. And how wonderful and terrifying her worlds are. Wonderful because they are peopled with the most amazing and seemingly improbable characters who are…. us. That’s the terrifying part.
For a while, in university, I wanted to… rebel against Atwood. I can’t even remember why. Probably something bizarre like… she was so popular, and smart and … middle class. I thought. Upper class even. How dare she be! Ahh… youth.
I began a paper on Surfacing for a wild class with Douglas Freake at York University. It was one of those classes that takes a whole bunch of seemingly disparate knowledge and interests and …. folds them all together somehow. It was a humanities class where we pulled apart advertising, pop culture, literature, film, music… all manner of things created by humans. I remember sitting there, near the end of the year, thinking… this is OUTSTANDING. I felt, for a few days, that I was brilliant. That I could suddenly see how the world worked. That all the sh*t I studied in all those other classed finally made sense. Part of this ecstasy came from working on the essay about Surfacing.
I set out to… rip that book apart. To rip Atwood apart, I suppose. To take her to task for… something. To expose her as a faker, a fraud, a soulless darling of the intelligentsia. I was in third year uni. I was more than a bit MAD if you can’t tell. I went in all guns blazing and… Atwood conquered me. The deeper I dug, the more fantastic the book seemed to become. I ended up doing a complete u-turn and singing her praises to the rafters. I was SCHOOLED.
I have the urge to do the same with this one. But I feel… weak and wobbly in my brain. Unable to offer up anything smart, or even witty, let alone INSIGHTFUL.
So, for now, I will just say. This is a good one. It’s chock full of layers and honesty and more than a few giggles.
It is the story of a life lived… almost by accident. A woman who follows the wind and becomes whatever the people she runs into want her to be. Joan Foster is many things, to many people. I finished the book with the hope that she will now, finally, be… herself. In all it’s fullness. With all it’s contradictions and complexities.
May she, and we, find our way to living life for our selves instead of others. To living with intent.
One more tasty quote to tempt you….
Where was the new life I’d intended to step into, easily as crossing a river? It hadn’t materialized, and the old life went on without me. I was caged on my balcony waiting to change. I should take up a hobby, I thought, make quilts, grow plants, collect stamps. I should relax and be a tourist, a predatory female tourist and take pictures and pick up lovers with pink nylon ties and pointy shoes. I wanted to unclench myself, soak in the atmosphere, lie back and eat all the flapdoodles off the tree of life, but somehow I couldn’t do it. I was waiting for something to happen, the next turn of events (a circle? a spiral?) All my life I’d been hooked on plots.
I too have always been hooked on plots.
I just think we ought to be the authors, and heroines, of our own stories. That’s all. And I know M. Atwood agrees.
go easy ~p
Shake and Bake 18: The Fred and Willie Edition
OK…. hands up everyone who has had Just About Enough of this cold.
Seriously. It’s -34C up here. AGAIN.
Well… I’ve good news for you all. Despite my sad face at a sunny shiny Imbolc yesterday — Wiarton Willie is predicting an early Spring. Along with Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil. Sadly…Nova Scotia’s Shubenacadie Sam and Quebec’s groundhog, Fred, are on the opposite side of the fence, predicting 6 more weeks of Winter. It’s all up to Winnipeg Willow to break the tie. C’mon girl, bring me some summertime!!!!
Time for the Saturday Chicken/Check-in Ritual.
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
Walks: 2/7 – but much wood carrying and shoveling
Guitar: 4/7 *see me grinning*
Yoga/Meditation: 3/7 – so cold so cold too cold for yoga
Work on NIP: 5/5 ++ but hard slogging
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT: Guitar – PICK IT UP!
THE RESULT: Even with the focus… I struggled. Wanted to try different times. Even set myself a schedule. DID NOT FOLLOW the schedule at all. But I DID play. Always around 5pm. So hey… that must be the time.
And…the rest of the week…
What worked? (THE THIng to bake in)
One-foot-in-front-of-the-other….That sounds a bit… trudgey… and I suppose it was, but it worked to keep me moving through.
It was a heckuva week with the NIP. Realizing early in the week that though I THOUGHT I had a clear shot to “the big scene”, to the climax, to the end of the first incredibly rough and rambly draft…. this is not really the case. The FEARS kicked in. The fear that the ending I have in mind might be…. NOT the ending. There may have to be “darlings” killed. Oh woe oh woe.
Decided the only sane and hopefully smart thing to do is to print the beast and have a read through. Of the Manuscript, the Work Journal Notes and the Book within the Book that I created in November. Read it ALL and see where we are headed.
Yup.
I’m in the midst of this right now. Lend me a wave if you can.
I also noticed in my Friday review of the Scrib that I kept saying… “move along” “move forward” “finding my way through” in reference to… LIFE.
It feels very much like this year is about … finding my way through.
Not that I have been… HORRIBLY lost… but… Well, I think a lot of you know whereof I speak.
We are finding our way through. Nuff said.
For now.
Next time I might…
Ease up a bit sooner.
Know that…
Yes… this is the direction we are headed.Encourage the one foot two foot red foot blue foot.
But also… go sit under that imaginary tree in the imaginary SUNSHINE and take a quiet moment to rest and recover and let this new material sink in to yourSelf.
THE GNARBLY BITS:
– the trudgery drudgery nature of work this week.
– the cold the relentless cooooooollllld.
– the sore ache in my hands from the cold.
– the fear that I may have taken a left turn at Albuquerque.
SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!
THE TASTY BITS:
+ moving forward… moving forward… moving forward even so.
+ the presence of The Women I Can Say Anything To.
+ food. cooking simple tasty food. eating simple tasty food.
+ picking up the guitar again.
+ knowing deep down – deep knowing – that all will be well. All will be well.
NEXT WEEK’S Playful EXPERIMENT:
I’ve found that the “EXPERIMENTS” that work best for me are those that are very concrete – like EAT BREAKFAST. Something I can DO physically and know that I must come back here and tell you how it went.
So…. this week I plan to stick with the Guitar. Give it my focus. Find/Make/Take that time each day. I have my practice schedule printed out. 1/2hr each day. We’ll see how it goes.
“And my hands hurt, from playing my guitar…”
Here’s a little Fred Eaglesmith. This is the song I practice with. I love it.
Stay Groovy.
And, as always…
go easy ~p (I love that Lil Swirly – thanks fc)
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A Simple Imbolc Ritual
Helloo-Hallay it’s a glorious day!
Today is Imbolc — called Candlemas by some — the Feast Day of St. Brighid.
It is the First Rite of Spring – though it never really feels like that ’round these parts.
Those of you who have read Mostly Happy, know that I have a particular fondness for Brighid.
In lore, she is Celtic goddess of fire (the forge and the hearth), poetry, healing, childbirth, and unity.
For me… Brighid brings healing and inspiration. And goats… but that’s another tale.
Imbolc is a time to move TOWARDS Spring. To heal. To nurture that which is growing within. To make plans to bring forth something new.
It is also a day of Weather Divination – as is the perhaps more well known – GROUNDHOG DAY. As with the groundhog – if today is bright and sunny and fair… we can look forward to at least 6 more weeks of winter. SIGH. Ah well…. more snow means more water in the earth come spring, right?
I continue to mark the turning of the year with simple rituals. And so… I share this one with you.
As with my Yule Ritual… the core of this ritual can be adapted to any belief system and range from the simple to the elaborate. You can cast a circle and call the directions to enter your sacred space – or you can just sit and breathe and centre yourself. You can do it outside, in a special room, or at your kitchen table. All you really need is quiet, a pen and paper, a candle (make it white for Brighid if you like, but anything will do), and match or lighter to light the candle.
You will not burn the paper this time. So you don’t need a fire proof container.
You might like to sip a glass of milk at the end of the ritual. To honour Brighid and the season.
At its heart this ritual is about new growth. About welcoming and nurturing inspiration and/or healing.
Again — You can write few words or many – whatever works for you.
This writing will be saved… tucked away in your journal, your Book of Shadows, or pinned up somewhere that you can see it. It is bringing your intention into the world.
Here it is in a nutshell. You can also grab a pdf version HERE.
A Simple Imbolc/Candlemas Ritual Dedicated to Brighid – Goddess of Fire, Patroness of Poetry, Smithcraft and Healing The First Rite of Spring Rejuvenate/Rededicate o Enter the sacred o Connect to the divine – especially to the Creative/Healing essence “Brighid, Blessed Healer, Keeper of the Fire of Creation, be with me tonight.” “Lord of the Light, be with me tonight as I seek our Lady Brighid.” o Light the candle to welcome the returning light o Sit and consider what Imbolc and/or Brigid signify for you this year Is there something you would heal in the coming months? Something you would like to create in your life? Something growing within you that you would like to nurture? o Write down what you would like to heal/create/nurture Write down the steps you could take towards this goal Ask the Lady and the Lord to support your efforts in manifesting these goals in the coming months — as we move towards Spring. o Take some time to rest in warmth and drift into the season knowing that Brighid will be with you until the wheel turns into Ostara o When you are ready, Ground yourself and the power raised o Return to the everyday
May the sun warm you.
Go easy -p
Places I read
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