Pam Bustin
creator, editor, story tender
21 Monkeys – Day ONE
So…. as I blunder about the earth, looking for ways to grow into the human I desire to be… I often stumble upon teachers, programs, STUFF that might be helpful.
So it is that I’ve found another free 21 day Meditation Challenge offered up by Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. This one focuses on Miraculous Relationships and you can jump aboard over HERE.
I’ve jumped aboard again, because I really enjoyed the Challenge I did with D and O over the winter. (Yeah…D+O= DO I so crack myself up!) It’s nice to have a guided meditation emailed to me each day, with a few bonus messages and some journal questions to consider and respond to.
This time, I have decided to add one more element. A daily blog post. I imagine they will be short and sweet. It’s an experiment. To see what happens. As this whole BLOGTHING is.
So today’s meditation finds us easing in to this Miraculous Journey.
The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. ~ Buddha
Chopra sees miracles everywhere.
The word miracle comes from the Latin root mīrāculum, equivalent to mīrā ( rī ) to wonder at + -culum -cle.
To wonder at… to behold with rapt attention…
I like that idea. I would very much like to practice this sort of attention in my everyday life. And by paying attention, I honestly do think that I will begin to see what Chopra calls “the everyday acts of Grace” that guide us through this living thing.
We are encouraged to set one intention for this journey and to cultivate it daily. To tend it lovingly and watch it blossom.
As y’all know, I’m a tad… um… INTENTION CHALLENGED. Not that I don’t have most awesome intentions… I totally do. Trouble is I can’t seem to hold or even remember an intention for more than thirty seconds after I consciously make one.
So this could well be the true challenge for me… to set an intention for this journey and to bring it to mind…daily… for 21 days.
THAT, my friend, would be a miracle.
As they say… nothing ventured – nothing gained.
Or as Maude says when Harold tells her he enjoys being “dead”:
Reach out. Take a chance. Get hurt even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE!
Otherwise…. you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.
Here’s to 21 days of monkeying around!
Happy trails, all.
go easy ~p
Shake and Bake 43: The Boondocks Edition
Yes as in… “Down in the Boondocks” Not out in the Boondocks…though I can see where you got that idea.
Now the lyrics to the song aren’t REALLY fitting my mood this morning…but I am feeling… down in the boondocks… down in the boondocks…
Or just plain down I suppose. SIGH.
Let’s just play the song and see how it makes us feel…
Well now… that was brilliant actually.
And it totally raised my spirits to watch Billy Joe getting his groove on and all those folks singing along. Huzzah for music and its power to lift us up when we are down.
The main causes of my down-ness this AM are simple to assess…
- I haven’t been doing my doings.
- I applied for a sweet gig last month and just heard that I didn’t get it. Didn’t even get an interview. Blergh!
Ah well… moving on….
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
- Yoga/Meditation: 0/7
- Active Fun: 2/7
- Write: 1/7 + Scrib
- Play Music: 0/7
See…. told ya. And yeah, I DO know better. Doesn’t mean I can always… do as I ought to…
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
To simply Enjoy the Show…
The Result:
Well… um… what?
Yes there has been much to enjoy… hmm. Did I manage to just… pay attention? Well… um… sure…. but…. oof.
Hilarious. I simply cannot seem to hold an intention…for a day… let alone a WEEK. What is the DEAL with that?
SHAKE IT OUT, Bustin!
THE Hard BITS:
- no job for the fall = no $$ for the fall/winter = dread
- waves and waves of sadness slipping over me
- what’ll i do…what’ll I do… what’ll I DO?
- at sea/lost feeling enhanced by the letting go of the NIP for now and shifting gears towards a new challenge for the 3day Novel Contest
- thinking…maybe I don’t even HAVE anything I want to play with for the 3day
- thinking… maybe I don’t even have anything to say – PERIOD (oh my pathetic-ness will make me laugh… soon)
- oh and that dread mentioned above is also probably because… why now? You all know, yes? Because I have not been doing the Working Hours that keep the dreads at bay! Silly silly me.
THE good BITS:
- The Southern Sis up for her summer stay – always good.
- Wood arriving – something so soothing about a growing woodpile, dontcha think?
- Friends arriving on the Bay who we thought might not make it this year. So glad they are here – though we haven’t made it over in person for a drop by YET.
- Fresh lettuce from our garden…abundance abundance abundance!
- baby zucchini and peppers and wee green tomatoes…. beans and potatoes and peas flowering…
- BASIL!
- The dog happy and frolicking on the beach
- Bare feet in the sand
- mist on the bay
- so much beauty
I do know… I’ve so much to be thankful for. Yes.
The Thing that needs Baking In MOST:
Hey…. how about this one… – I’ve been HERE at this site for a year! Woot! And…
I’m still here… still working it all out.
That’s cool.
I do believe I’ll go eat some cake.
Next Week’s Playful CHALLENGE…
Well along with the breathing …
…how about we ease back into the doings…
…AGAIN…
?
And to help with this, I have re-designed my paper chickens… a wee pad to keep by my bed with daily chickens (check-ins)…. let’s see if it helps me hold onto my intention for the week…
It seems to slip away from me as soon as I post this.
~~~~
How about you?
Can you hold an intention for a day? A week? Months and months and months?
If so…. what IS your secret? Share share, Sugar Bear.
~~~~
Thanks for popping in.
go easy
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
Shake and Bake 42: The Whiz-By Edition
Whoo-boy! Another whiz-by-week.
A wonderful week was had with the fella from the Westlands. And today is busy busy busy with the cleaning and preparing for more company.
I’ll be brief…
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
- Yoga/Meditation: 0/7
- Active Fun: 2 lane walks and one strolling day in the big city.
- Write: Goodo-Goodo on the Scrib… and the NIP spell checked and quick tidied into a readable format….
- Play Music: 0/7
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
Getting the draft in a shape I’m willing to share….
The Result:
Uh…NO.
But I do believe I’m OK with this decision.
THE Hard BITS:
- fear and doubt and fear and doubt.
- much running away into books and movies… distract me! Distract me!
- finding a smelly mess in the tent …. oooooog for the leaking!
THE good BITS:
- Walks and talks
- no talking
- reading
- sleeping
- tasty food shared
- singing loud
- solar power
- roaming about in Timmins at my favourite boutique – VALUE VILLAGE!
AND THIS is The Thing that needs Baking In MOST:
Well… OK… I must note and allow to sink in the observation and wisdom of the fella from the Westlands….
Though a large part of what I’ve been aiming for these last few years is… to stop … WHIPPING myself…. apparently I am still rathaw hard on Pam.
Harumph.
I have an urge to go and … pout about it.
But let me just… acknowledge that this whole dang THING – meaning ME here on this earth in this body doing these things (writing these books, having these relationships, cooking this food) – is a work in progress.
And hey… let’s just all relax this week and enjoy the show. Yeah that’s it.
Next Week’s Playful CHALLENGE?
Exactly THAT…
Enjoy the show.
As the wonderful Casey (Kerris Dorsey) sings…. in Moneyball …
~~~~
Let us all enjoy the show!
Thanks for stopping by.
go easy
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
Shake and Bake 41: The Messing About Edition
Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing – absolutely nothing – half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.” ― Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows
There was this…
And then there was this…
And this too…
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
- Yoga/Meditation: 3/7
- Active Fun: 3 Walks…. and the messing about in boats…
- Write: 6/7 AND NEWS… SUCH NEWS…. See below
- Play Music: 2/7
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
Twas all about the NIP… The mission was to GO IN and STAY IN…Until I came out the other side….
The Result:
I DID IT!!!!!
Yesterday, around 11:30AM I typed….
~fin~
I do believe I have completed a first draft of my Novel In Progress – Sanctuary.
Much work to do, of course… but I have gotten all the way to the end. HUZZAH!
Now… will I manage to …um… tidy it up ENOUGH to give it to my trusted First Reader by Wednesday…. we will see… we will see…
THE Hard BITS:
- bitta bitta bitta BUNCH of worry early in the week that there was no WAY I would get through to “the end” of the hip nip this week.
- another friend of the family crossed over to the other shore this week. The funeral today was lovely… but the heart aches.
- bit… tired, physically.
THE good BITS:
- More fishing with friends and… I caught one! I caught one! He was a pretty as pie pickerel and The Raggedy Man convinced me to set him free instead of taking him home to the frying pan. It was a wonderful night out on Borden Lake.
- A visitor from the Westlands.
- Sunny sun sun sun.
- Rain enough for cooling.
- Another fun trip up (or is it down?) the river.
- A wonderful gifty.
- And yes yes yesssssss – the work that took me through to the end of the story… giving me a full draft to work with. It was a few long pushes (Saturday and Sunday) and then the steady work hours through the week. I had one day “off” this week…. it blurs…it blurs… but HEY – WE DID IT!!! Huzzah. (we being me and the characters).
AND THIS is The Thing that needs Baking In MOST:
I do believe I shall just REVEL in the completion of this draft….
This morning I was already making notes for scenes that I need to slip in…. and I know I will dive straight back in tomorrow and begin a quick “tidy up” – but for today I will…
BASK.
Next Week’s Playful CHALLENGE?
I can’t quite let the NIP go to rest yet… because my first reader is… HERE… and is moving off into the world again on WEDNESDAY so… the wee challenge of the week is…
Get this lumpy bumpy draft into shape to share with him.
If I can.
One day I will have to talk about the importance of choosing your First Reader (or Alpha Reader or whatever you like to call the person who sees your work before anyone else). It is an incredibly important support to have as a writer and it takes a special kind of person with a special kind of EYE and EAR and MIND.
I am blessed with a good one.
And for this I say “Thank Ye Thank Ye!” to the Goddess of Writing.
~~~~
That’s it for me. The river calls us to more fun.
Wishing you
laughter, love and adventure.
And to start us all off…one more quote from Mr. Grahame….
Take the adventure, heed the call, now ere the irrevocable moment passes! ‘Tis but a banging of the door behind you, a blithesome step forward, and you are out of your old life and into the new!
― Kenneth Grahame
Thanks for stopping by.
go easy
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
Shake and Bake 40: The BOOK in the Mail Edition
Greetings Fellow Voyagers!
Summer is good up here on the bay!
It’s Friday again and more “fun with friends” is planned for the weekend. Woop. Some food and some fishing.
And some work up on the roof.
I’ll be signing off again for the weekend…but before I go… It’s Shake n Bake time.
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
- Yoga/Meditation: 3/7
- Active Fun: 5/7
- Write: 7/7 (but only …. 3 NIP sessions. I am now including the SCRIB because… it counts DANG it!)
- Play Music: 3/7
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
Seek easeful ways to DO the DOINGS…
The Result:
As you can see above… it seems I did not DO the DOINGS everyday this week. But, know what? I’m cool with that. It’s been a good week in spite of that and … I think that MAYBE I am easing into a way of… not getting so hung up on the numbers.
Yay.
THE GNARBLY Tough BITS:
Hmm…. I pause here and think about it…. Must’ve been some hard moments… but in all honesty, none come to mind right now. How wild is THAT?
- A few times I thought “Should should should…” but I resisted the whipping of myself and returned to whatever joyful thing I was doing at that moment.
- I do know and see that I truly MUST get hunkered down with Izzy… but… there is something that just drives me out of the chair and onto the path to walk and walk and walk and… for this week anyhow… I let the urge win.
- And… right… the driving anxiety continues… but I’m doing it anyhow. Drove into and around town twice this week. And will drive in again today. Yay me!
THE TASTY BITS of Joy:
A book in the mail! Literally BOOK in the mail from Ken Sparling (interesting “profile” of Ken over on Quill and Quire and over HERE you can find a conversation between Pedlar Press publisher Beth Follett and Ken about writing, Lego, his book, Intention Implication Wind, and more.)- News that a friend is about to hop a train across the flatlands, headed our way.
- Something scary (for someone else) that turned out OK – perhaps in part because I went along to the scary place and stood beside them.
- Driving. Feeling the fear and driving anyhow.
AND THIS is The Thing that needs Baking In MOST:
Things go better with company – sometimes. And to be asked to go along is an honour so… when it comes to some scary place you have to go – ask a friend to come along. They will be pleased to be of service, as you were this week.
Next Week’s Playful Experiment?
It will have to do with the NIP. Oh man… but can you find a playful way to do this? Just… please… write through it Pam. You must. See… there is that word but… SERIOUSLY can you find a way to just… give it another shot? Give this bit another shot. Playfully – go as wild as you want… involve ostriches and demon goats if you want… just TAKE ANOTHER STAB at this very important meeting/confrontation/conflagration/confabulation/climax THING.
This is your mission.
This week… it is a mission.
Go in and STAY in, without judging it,
til you come out the other side.
It is imperative.
~~~~
That’s it for me. Wishing you…
a week of WONDER.
Thanks for stopping by.
go easy
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
Shake and Bake 39: The Drift Away Edition
Hullo Sweeties!
Swooping early this morning to shake out the week because…. I’m heading out on the river with some pals for a bit and have a feeling that I won’t make it back online til… MONDAY!
I’ve been love love loving the offline weekends. But they are hard, too. I have a big ole list of “stuff to do” every Monday now. It’s worth it, though. So far.
OK — onward to confessionville – as that is what this feels like this week….
But… let us shift, this week to a YAWPing version of tracking the four things that this one intends to do each day…
For…as Whitman once said…
I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,
I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world.
I have a friend who has begun a “tracking” of her own this week. Her method is to mark it down on the calendar – each day. And fill the wee squares with initials for the three things she aims to do each day.
I like that.
I’m gonna do it too.
And, just for kicks and giggles… I want it to be… a YAWP!
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
- Yoga/Meditation (ass on mat): 4/7
- Active Fun (ass in motion): 7/7
- Write (ass in chair): 7/7 (but only …. gulp… 1 NIP session.)
- Play Music (assignation with Pree): 3/7
Lawdy lawd – see what I mean about confessionville?
I am falling down the summertime bunnyhole with regards to my…. DOINGS!
The hours whiz past me… filled with activity… It ain’t like I’m laying around eating bon bons or anything but… I see that I am neglecting things that I KNOW full-well are integral to my well being and this is leading to some anxiety…. and yes… the dreads the dreads the dreads.
BUT – that said… the sessions of work on the NIP this week went astoundingly well and we are … moving into Saturday…. The current structure takes us though to Sunday night…. see how close we are?????
OK – enough about THAT.
Onward….
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
was too…. get back in the 6am-10am morning groove.
The Result:
Ooooofta. Do I have to say it?
It did not go so well.
I was up at 7 a few times (I even did an early morning Kayak on Wednesday)… but I don’t think I made the 6am rise ONCE this week and so… there simply weren’t enough hours to do all the things I want so much to do… especially hard hit… Mat and Music time. Apparently I still see these as … somewhat optional … sigh.
THE GNARBLY Tough BITS:
- News of a friend battling some health issues. My heart is filled with wishes for health and wholeness and safe passage through this time for all nearest and dearest.
- Guilt about not doing the DOINGS – but, y’know what? It isn’t huge… it is more like… I know so deep in my bones that I feel better when I do these things and so I sort of sit here and… wonder… at my not doing them. No use beating myself over it. But it… registers.
- Sore sore achey back on Thursday morning. Taken as a call to the yoga mat. Thank-ye. Thank-ye.
THE TASTY BITS of Joy:
- Fun in the Sun – with the Raggedy Man, with friends, and on my own. Oh how I love it. And Oh how I long to just be OUTSIDE all the time all the time all the time and soak up the sun’s energy.
- Learning to fish. It is time. Well past time I learned this essential skill. So grateful to the wonderful fisherwoman who is sharing her wisdom, time and gear with me.
- A gloriously full Canada Day on July 1st. Many laughs, much joy, and a good job done to boot.
- Finishing off big work on the studio (for now) and moving in to scribble, write letters to K (and others), lay up in the loft and read and dream and… ahhhhhhhh I love it.
- Watching the garden grow.
- Watching the river flow.
AND THIS is The Thing that needs Baking In MOST:
Oh Pam, lighten up. It’s summertime.
Kick off your shoes and toss them in the corner with that pile of SHOULDS and dance to the music.
You WILL get this thing done. You will. But for now… chill, Sister.
Next Week’s Playful Experiment?
Shift it… find the ease-filled way to accomplish the things you truly need to accomplish.
There are ease filled ways.
And there are hours enough in each day.
~~~~
FOR P and K (and the rest)
I send forth bright blessings
waves of love and light and strength
today – tomorrow – and down through the days til we meet again.
May the world hold you gently
and bring you beauty
and the sure knowledge that you are
exactly where you are supposed to be.
Blessed be.
~~~~
Thanks for stopping by.
go easy
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
Creative Spaces – My Studio Trailer ReVAMP
The Trailer Studio has begun it’s evolution!
- AFTER – The view from the loft
AFTER – Another view from the Loft
Meditative Monkey: Learning Who You Are by What You Do
So the Monkey and I have been reading…
We found a lovely little book at Bay Used Books in Sudbury called Let Evening Come. It was written by Mary C. Morrison and published when she was 88 and in sight of the last encampment.
There is much wisdom in this slim volume, including a phrase that the Monkey grabbed onto and continues to fill my mind with in moments of stillness.
Watch what you do to learn who you are.
It is one of those clear and simple, common sense ideas that fills me with dread. I struggle constantly with this overwhelming idea/knowledge/CERTAINTY that, deep down … I’m just a lazy-assed good for nothing. I so RARELY feel like I do “enough.”
Of course, I am slowly beginning to see that my idea of “enough” is a tad… overblown.
But…scary or not, this phrase, this idea of watching what we DO in the world to see who we ARE makes perfect sense to me.
The simple truth is that I live a great deal of my life inside my head, running through my never ending lists of things to do, whipped on by the deadly shoulds. “I should do this, I should do that.”
I spend heaps of time in a state of … guilt for things not being done instead of enjoying or even really paying attention to what I AM doing.
I spend great huge whacks of time berating myself for “time wasted.” But in my clear and quiet moments, I’ve come to realize that… I don’t even understand what that means. What do I mean by “wasted” time?
Is it even possible to waste time? Is it not all… just living?
I am so freaking tied to the shoulds, to the musts, to “I need to do this, that and the other.”
And hey, don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have plans and ambitions and dreams to work towards. It is good to have a vision of who we would like to be in the world, and what we want to accomplish. I’m never gonna get this damned novel written if I don’t sit the hell down to do the work…. But there is also something to be said for … stepping back and observing ourselves to see what we are doing and who we are right now.
“Watch what you do to learn who you are.”
I stare at the sentence and let it sink in a bit.
It isn’t just … OUTPUT … that we are talking about here, is it?
It isn’t even entirely about how we spend our time.
I think it is also about how we relate to others, how we speak to and think of ourselves, our attitudes, what we hold sacred and… the whole freaking shebang.
It is … how we live this life. How we move upon the earth.
And if we really watch ourselves, by which I mean just… watch, observe, notice… we will see a range of things. Some will make us wince or blush or want to give ourselves a shake. Some will give us a warm feeling of accomplishment or at least a slight glow if we allow ourselves to acknowledge a thing done well. A small kindness. A situation handled well.
Quick aside here – I’ve been learning a bit lately about how our brains work and one of the most fascinating things I have learned is how seriously hard-wired we are towards negativity. It is deep deep in the reptile brain. It stems from our survival instinct. We learn quickly from negative situations and we are ever alert for them. Ever alert for danger/fear and so on. It is much much harder to hold onto POSITIVE things. To feeling safe and content and to really let that glow, however small, SINK in. We need to practice. To consciously take a few seconds to register that this is a good moment. This is a good thing I have done. This is a “job well done.” If we can do this, it will help us observe ourselves more clearly. We won’t focus JUST on the negative.
Because here’s the thing. When we start to watch ourselves, we will probably see the negative things first.
Take me for example… I look back on this past week and the first things to come to mind are…
- You didn’t get up at 6 everyday, even though you know it is BEST if you do.
- You watched way too much tv online – hours and hours of it. Did you REALLY need to watch 3 weeks of Coronation Street in one day? Do you really need to watch any of this stuff?
- You reacted incredibly badly to a situation with…
Well, you get my drift.
I look back and find a bizillion things to back up my idea of myself as a “lazy-assed good for nothing.”
And I hang my head… and come near to despairing… and then I go… “Wait. Wait. Look again. What did you DO this week?”
And I must acknowledge the hours (6-10 hours on four days) that I spent outside working in the yard toting/hauling/gardening or in the trailer, painting.
And I remember how GOOD that felt. How right and how happy I was just to be outside working hard, making the place look better, moving the ole bod, soaking up the rays. How I sang while I painted. How the singing led me to pick up the guitar once I came inside and cleaned up. Oh yeah… I forgot about the guitar….and how the stiffness in the muscles was a clear call to the yoga mat in the mornings and … oh yeah, see, I forgot about the yoga and… so it goes. Six loads of laundry done and hung in the sun to dry. A friend comforted and listened to.
Not a bad week at all.
Now, let’s take a look at the negatives my brain handed over first and take a stab at understanding, maybe, WHY I might do them. Not to excuse them. They remain things I would like to… change/work on…but let’s just see if I can shift them from “pure evil stupid laziness” to something a bit less… hurtful.
- The “sleeping in”? Hard to let go/forgive but I will admit that there has been a lot time spent outside, working hard in the sun and in the trailer. I am physically tired. My insomnia is kicking up again and I am exhausted but awake late late into the night and… being honest… the best REST this week often came between 5 and 8 am.
OK. I see that. I still also know that the sleeping in led to a feeling of being “rushed” to get things done in the day – especially the things I do primarily for myself in the early morning hours. So… I got rest, but a sadness built up as well. This morning, I dragged myself up… and now, hours later, I’m glad I did.
Balance is needed. As in all.
- The bad reaction to the … situation … I still need to work on and I don’t want to talk about here.
- And the TV thing… well that is an ongoing thing. I binge. On TV shows or movies or books. It’s a thing I do. A lot. I seek stories for a bizillion reasons. To escape. For comfort. For inspiration. For sheer entertainment. I have always done this… so… what do I gain? It is one of those strange activities that – when I am in it, I am perfectly content, and then afterwards, I feel bad and guilty and often have a bit of a headache. So, why do I DO it?
This is what I know, so far.
It is always to story that I run. It is in story that I hide. It’s like I am madly searching for something. The word, the phrase, the idea that will … comfort me, save me, allow me move forward.
It is also by story that I stand and by story that I SPEAK.
So… story is the worst of me, but it is also the best of me.
TADA! That’s a freaking good thing to realize, right?
Doesn’t give me a free pass to loll about eating bonbons watching TV or reading all day, but… I can see that I do need story and will, no doubt, continue to binge…on occasion.
That’s not so bad.
I guess this whole “watch what you do” thing is sort of what I’ve been doing with the weekly Chickens (Shake & Bakes). Looking back. Shaking it all out and trying to BAKE some things in.
Maybe a thing for me to work towards is… noticing things a bit more in the moment. Maybe that will help with the balancing vs the binging.
OK, Monkey. I’ll give it a shot.
And as for my passport? It needs renewing. I brought the forms home from the Post Office earlier this week.
Best get on that.
go easy ~p
Shake and Bake 37: The Cup Full Up Edition
My cup runneth over with gratitude this week. Cup Full… Bucket Full… Barrel filled to overflowing with gratitude and joy and arms flung wide open to welcome Summer!
Well Come!
Hullo Sweeties!
Tis me…sneaking online on a Saturday to Shake and Bake. Had a bit of a WHOOP UP on the river last night to celebrate the Solstice and friendship and… the day got away from me with the cooking and what not. Been so long since we have entertained…that I was quite nervous. Glad glad to report that a wonderful night was had by all!
Good food. Good friends. Good times stretching into the wee hours of the morning.
I hope your summer is full of much of this – gathering with friends, and folk that you love.
OK – onward to the magnificence that was this week…
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
- Write: 6/7
- Move: 7/7
- Matt/Sit: 6/7
- Music: 5/7 – whee!
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
Yoga in the morning.
The Result:
Und I did it! I so did it and boy did I need it! And girl did it feel GOOD! Huzzah.
THE GNARBLY BITS of Ouch:
- Hmm… hard to remember any rough bits this week…. but I know they were here… I did get quite sad on Thursday. I believe that it stemmed from the fact that I didn’t sit for my work hours on the NIP. No real reason. I just allowed myself to sleep in and then, once up, I leapt into outside work directly after the Scrib and… never came back in to sit and work. Consequence felt pretty much IMMEDIATELY. One day I will truly learn/accept/embrace the simple FACTs that I see/feel within.
-
Sit and work and you feel good.
Don’t and you feel sad/scared/double plus not good.
- – some minor body aching to remind me that… I’m growing older and need to, perhaps, be a bit more gentle on myself when out working hard in the wonderful sunshine.
- – noticing that I still lean towards saying/thinking “Now, I need to go and do this…” Instead of “Now I GET to go and do this….” as in “Now I get to sit and work. Now I get to play guitar. Now I get to prepare and eat a tasty meal.” The attitude really does make a difference. Just shifting the “I need to…” to “now I GET to…” Try it. It works wonders!
THE TASTY BITS of Glory:
- + oh my Dears, I wish I could express how huge my gratitude is this week for the amazing generosity and support and downright AMAZINGNESS of two fantastic women – my Mother in Law and Sister in Law. They have given me such a gift of peace and love this week. A huge boon. Huge. I thank them with all of my heart.
- + the gift of a letter of support/appreciation from a fellow writer that made me weep and weep. I am honoured and humbled by the lovely words from this talented, wonderful woman. Ah my heart. So full.
- + my studio/trailer – so loving it! This week I started painting the interior. Can’t wait for another sunny dry day to finish up and then… MOVE IN! Whee!
- + so grateful for this body – this mostly healthy, mostly strong body that allows me to paint and garden and lift and haul and dance and sing. It’s quite amazing.
- + so grateful for the words that continue to flow… the NIP grows…. and I am happy.
AND THIS is The Thing that needs Baking In MOST:
You are surrounded and supported by good people – friends and family.
And see… (thinking back to last week)…. Everything IS fine. You are fine and most importantly – you are not alone on this earth. You never have been – though it may feel like that sometimes.
Next Week’s Playful Experiment?
Work on the “Now I GET to…” idea. See what happens with this conscious shift of thinking and report back.
ONWARD into the weekend!
~~~~
May we embrace
the music of the world
and feel it sing through our selves
May we touch the world
and all beings
gently
~~~~
Thanks for stopping by. Tossing joy joy joy into your path this week.
go easy
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
Shake and Bake 36: The Santa Fe Edition
Hullo Sweeties!
Holy fast week! Do I say that every week? Well… this one seemed EXTREMELY fast and here I am rushing to get in a Chicken before I sign offline for the weekend again.
CHARGE!!!!!
The Quick Chicken (The Doings that help me with the Being):
- Write: 6/7 – but only 4 days work on the NIP – YIPE — and yes, the DREADS have started acting up already!
- Move: 6/7
- Matt/Sit: 2/5 – YERK!
- Music: 2/7
THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT:
Yoga in the morning.
The Result:
Face plantingly horrific FAIL. And so… I shall try again this week. See below.
THE GNARBLY BITS of Ouch:
- – dreads… the ebil dreads that come from not working on the NIP.
- – terror/horror/nightmares about debt and finding another vehicle and… strange dreams of creepy crawlies and big ole monsterthings chasing me down hallways.
- – strange sadnesses coming upon me during the week. From what? For what? I don’t really know. I just feel…. blue. Probably tied into the two items above.
THE TASTY BITS of Glory:
- + being outside, working in the yard
- + We found and bought a lovely used car. Whee! We now own a 2005 Santa Fe! Yowza.
- + A most excellent bonus to the “going to check out the car” trip was meeting/spending time with some wonderful folks in Sprague ON.
- + I quite loved being offline for Saturday and Sunday. And Wednesday and Thursday as it turned out – heh heh.
- + impromptu drop ins by friends for drinks on the porch. So wonderful – and I didn’t even care that the shack was a messy mess.
- + kayaking and walks up the lane. Ahh….
- + a funky new find – Carnivàle Thanking much the woman of magic and fellow lover of dark and twisty things. Dusty joy is mine.
AND THIS is The Thing that needs Baking In MOST:
Take a breath. It will be fine. It will be fine. You are doing just fine.
I don’t really wanna talk about this. I’m just… jittery right now. oof.
Next Week’s Playful Experiment?
DO OVER…..I want to work on getting back to the mat. I’ve let the yoga slip. Now that it is warming up I will give the morning routine another go.
~~~~
May we be safe
May we be happy
May we share the joy of fellowship
with friends far and wide
May the Lady smile upon us
~~~~
Thanks for stopping by. Be well.
go easy
~p
In homage to Havi’s Friday Chickens over on the The Fluent Self — This is the place I review my week – in an attempt to track some things – like progress on my novel and… living intentionally. I shake out my week and lay it out. Let the hard burn off and the good sink in. Call it an experiment in paying attention.
Comments are cherished here. Discussion is adored. If you’d rather talk in private – drop me a line.
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Pam Bustin 